When did you first realize that you’re an introvert? I knew I was one ever since I was in school. I would choose books and pets over a friend’s birthday party any day! Whenever I had to speak up in front of the class, it made me nervous and anxious. I was socially awkward and hated it. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me.
But I was wrong. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert in an extroverted world. Being different is OKAY. Over the years, I’ve learned to embrace my introversion.
“I am the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.”
— Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
There are many people who misunderstand introverts. Here some honest confessions of an introvert. I hope it will help you understand your introverted friends.
13 Honest Confessions Of An Introvert
1. Small Talk Is Distasteful.
Yes, there are many people out there who don’t like engaging in small talk. But we introverts find it especially distasteful. How’s the weather, what my neighbor’s been up to, and what’s on sale– these topics are not for us.
We talk as little as possible and only speak when we can contribute meaningfully to a conversation. I believe that a few real conversations are better than a thousand meaningless conversations. Agree?
Related: 7 Things All Quiet People Will Understand
2. Being Alone Makes Me Happy.
Being alone replenishes my energy. Alone time is essential for me to navigate my thoughts, process feelings, and emotions. Hence, I need some alone time every day to unwind and enrich my inner world. I spend alone time checking my phone, reading books, cooking, walking in the woods. Honestly speaking, activities like socializing and partying, which most of the world seems to thrive on, drain me out and overwhelm me.
Related: How To End Small Talk Without Being Awkward? 5 Things You Can Do
3. I Love My People But They Can Drain Me Out.
As much as I hate to admit this, but I am just being honest. I love my people from the bottom of my heart but I need my space from them too. I have learned to put up a confident attitude, smile and ask questions and seem interested about other people’s life especially at party or meetings. But here’s the thing– they are all acquired habits and leaves me exhausting.
Socializing even with close friends drains me out. Because I am not quiet on the inside. Just like stress is an internal reaction to a stimulus (external or internal), for me, there is an internal reaction to our natural sensitivity when socializing with people. This causes certain stress that drains my energy. Quietening my mind changes my reactions.
4. I Am Prone To Anxiety.
An introverted mind is a cherished place full of deep thoughts about the world and humanity. But that’s just a part of it. We are also the biggest overthinkers, spending unnecessary time and mental space on the smallest of things. We replay things in our minds over and over again to an extent it causes anxiety and exhaustion. We overthink minor problems, arguments with our loved ones, and everything else under the sun. Needless to say that it affects our mental health gravely.
Related: What We Can Learn From Loners
5. I Suck At Expressing My Emotions.
It’s so sad that people I care for deeply don’t always know that. It’s on me. I’m not able to show on the outside how I feel on the inside. I confess that I have a fear of having my thoughts and feelings ignored or disregarded. Sometimes, I assume people already know how I feel so I don’t put in the effort to express myself.
My face can totally betray how I feel deep down. I live in my head most of the time. Hence, it’s not uncommon for some of my friends to be in doubt about my feelings for him.
Thanks to pandemic and lockdown. It gave me enough scope to be with myself and practice expressing my feelings for the ones who matter to me.
6. I’m Always Ready With Excuses
I can without hesitation tell my friends that I’m busy even free when they ask me for an outing. I cancel plans so that I can do nothing or do what I enjoy most. Also, I’m on top of the world, when people cancel plans. I like to be invited. But, sitting on a comfy couch binge-watching Netflix is quite appealing to me than going to a moving hall with a group of friends.
On that note, I would like to honestly confess that I’m highly likley to die alone. That’s what I feel about myself.
Related: Loneliness vs. Solitude: It’s About Choice
7. I Want To Be Single Together
Sounds weird? Well, I would like to be single even in a committed relationship. Yes, I’m grateful for the unconditional love you have for me. I don’t want to feel lonely. I need to know you are there. I value our relationship and ready to give my everything to nurture it.
But I really don’t need you there. I secretly feel happy when you have your plans . Too much of texts, calls and attention is overwhelming.
8. Sometimes I Wish I Was More Of An Extrovert.
This one was a hard confession. But I promised to be honest, so yes, sometimes I do wish I was more extroverted. I see the extrovert world handling interactions with people so effortlessly. They mingle, laugh, and have fun with their huge group of friends all the time. No, don’t for once think that I have a boring life. I have A LOT of fun. But you know, sometimes you feel like the grass is greener on the other side. Once in a while, I wonder what’s it like to be an extrovert.
9. Many Times I Have Pretended Not To See People In Public.
Okay, not my proudest moments, but yes, I have done it several times. I miss a cab or bus or sometimes change my plans or direction of walking in to avoid chatty acquaintances from my office or friends circle.
Sometimes, I call customer care and pretend to have a very important conversation just to avoid small talks with a known face. And for same reasons, I always carry sunglasses and headphones with myself.
10. Writing Is My Preferred Medium Of Communication.
I’ve always felt more comfortable communicating through the written word than verbally. Let me type it out, I’ll be very expressive, but if you ask me to speak up, I’ll be awkward and bland. I would never be able to voice out these confessions. But I’m glad I could finally write them down. Hope you all introverts out there can relate to them.
11. I Do Have Fun
I will remain quiet at a mind-blowing party, instead of dancing and singing. So my kind of fun is to sit and observe people, keep a note of interesting sights, different etiquettes, cultures, and attentively listen to different conversations and sounds. I love to listen and reflect instead of asking questions and starting conversations with people.
I do have fun stargazing, staring at mountains, and playing with my dog. I stick to my own interests instead of going with trends. That’ said, yes it true that things that sound boring to many people are my source of fun.
12. I Don’t Leave Home Till My Neighbor Is Gone
I wait for my neighbor standing in front of my garage or outside the main gate to go away before I leave home. Before, you judge me on this, let me make myself clear. I don’t hate my neighbor. I just want to avoid conversation with him or her. I just don’t want ruin my energy levels with fake smiles, polite how are you’s and other gestures.
13. I Avoid Being Alone With People I Don’t Know Well
I love being alone! But not alone with a stranger or a friend whom I don’t know well. I’m quiet but not shy. I have great active listening skills with poor active speaking skills. The Centre of attention scares me. I will keep praying so someone breaks into my room and take over the conversation.
So, these are my honest confessions as introvert.
Are you an introvert? Could you relate to my revelations?
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