Relationships in today’s society can often be like walking through a minefield of colloquialisms and behaviors. One such term is the “cushioning dating”, it may sound harmless, but the implications it carries are anything but cozy.
Cushioning involves entertaining potential romantic partners outside of one’s committed relationship; it is rooted in fear, insecurity, and avoidance, frequently resulting in emotional infidelity.
What Is Cushioning Dating Trend?
The cushioning dating trend isn’t necessarily malicious – particularly before establishing boundaries at the outset of a relationship. It commonly arises out of fear for the failure of relationships based on past experiences or insecurities.
This could be seeking validation from others; keeping up connections with exes; or even hedging bets against potential breakups However once people commit themselves to each other romantically continued entertaining alternative love interests would amount to betraying their trust.
Why Does It Happen?
Cushioning usually stems from problems within the partnership including emotional unavailability or poor communication skills; individuals might look elsewhere for validation as they dread being hurt by separations or feel unsatisfied with their present mateship.
Such acts are selfish attempts aimed at self-protection by reducing vulnerability to getting hurt.
Related: How To Heal After Being Cheated On? 5 Ways To Survive
Signs of The Cushioning Dating Term:
If you think someone might be cushioning you here are some telltale signs:
1. They Hide Their Phone From You
A partner who guards their phone incessantly deleting messages and being mysterious about their communications may raise eyebrows.
2. They’re Hot-and-Cold With You
Keeping distance then abruptly re-engaging can indicate emotional disengagement and it might stem from uncertainty about one’s feelings.
3. They Keep Their Social Media Activity From You
Hiding social media activity or quickly closing tabs when you walk into a room could suggest hidden interactions.
4. They Are Not Interested In Being Intimate With You
Even though it is not necessarily an indication of cushioning, but abrupt decrease in physical or emotional intimacy should be acknowledged.
Are You The ‘Cushioner’? Understanding The Role of Self-Reflection
Should you find yourself cushioning a relationship, take time to reflect:
1. Understand Motivations: Why do I need validation from others? Why do I keep backup options around? What is it about my current partnership that leaves me dissatisfied?
2. Assess Impact: How might this hurt them emotionally? When does secrecy and avoidance become more than occasional slip-ups – when do they indicate need for change in priorities or intentions?
If you realize that you are cushioning within an otherwise healthy relationship, it is important to address root causes and communicate openly with your partner; ignoring their feelings or perpetuating secrecy will only make things worse.
Related: This Viral ‘Bird Test’ Can Predict If Your Relationship Will Last
Take this opportunity to connect with yourself: why do I feel the need to cushion – what effect does this have on them?
Ultimately emotional fidelity becomes blurred by cushioning thus undermining trust and intimacy within relationships.
It is really about finding out who you are in relationships, but never straying far from honesty and concern for your own and mutual beliefs and self-esteem.
Share your thoughts on the cushioning dating term in the comments down below!
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