Attachment Style Tips
Anxious Partner
- When you’re feeling let down or abandoned, write a list of all the ways your partner is there for you, shows care, and gets it right.
- Examine your ideas of “what is right” and “how things should be.” Is there some wiggle room to make more space for your partner’s way of doing things?
- Before reacting to a trigger, take a minute to step back and try to see the situation from your partner’s perspective.
- Learn more about emotional validation. What it is, what it isn’t, and don’t stop advocating for it. Most anxious partners haven’t had enough of this in their life and need it more than anything else.
Avoidant Partner
- Learn how to emotionally validate. Until you can understand that you can emotionally validate your partner without agreeing with WHY they feel the way they do, keep trying to understand it. Your relationship depends on it.
- Find ways to learn how to access and express your emotions. Because it’s likely that nobody ever taught you how.
- Learn the difference between complaints and criticism. Examine whether or not you might confuse the two.
- Advocate for appreciation. If you’re feeling chronically defined by what you’re getting wrong, let your partner know it’s getting in the way of your ability to feel close.
– @The Secure Relationship
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