How To Let Go When Your Partner Refuses To Change

 / 

, , ,

Have you ever felt very frustrated in your relationship because your partner refuses to change their bad habits and problematic behavior? Sometimes the only thing you can do when your partner wonโ€™t make positive changes in relationships is to walk away.

When you have been doing everything possible to get your partner to change a behavior that bothers or concerns you, and it still doesnโ€™t change, you will eventually reach a crossroads in your relationship. If leaving the relationship isnโ€™t an option, you must find a way to let go of your attempts to change or control your partner.

If you continue to focus on your mate, you will continue to suffer. Letting go and accepting that your partner wonโ€™t change is a tremendous gift you can and should give yourself.

Here Is How You Can Let Go When Your Partner Refuses To Change

1. Letting Go Of Control

It is possible that you may not be tuned in to a big part of the dynamic between you and others that involves your needย to controlย them. It is essential to recognize and let go of any need, motivation, or desire to control or manage others, including your partner. Itโ€™s time to admit that you can only control yourself.

In an unfulfilling relationship you might tend to want to help, fix, protect, or rescue. As natural as it is to want to do this with someone we care about, who we perceive as stuck or struggling, it only works in Hollywood movies. In real life, it makes things worse because it doesnโ€™t workโ€”period.

Furthermore, one truth you should embrace is that not everyone willย wantย to change, and thatโ€™s okay. Just as it is okay for you to make the decision about what you want to change about yourself; everyone else has the same prerogative.

When you stop trying to control someone else, you empower yourself in ways you may not have realized. You can shift that energy into something thatย isย changeable. In some situations, you may begin to recognize aspects of yourself that you wish to change instead. You will no longer be deflecting outward but inward.

When you stop controlling others, itโ€™s probable that you will now be focusing on what the actual problem is (and it wonโ€™t be what you had thought it was) and find that you can effectively solve it.

Let Go When Partner Refuses To Change

2. Leveraging Your Strengths

Most people have to make an effort to think positively instead of negatively (called a negativity bias). The constant focus on dysfunction, disease, and whatโ€™s wrong is frequently viewed as both undesirable and possibly even harmful.

Maintaining a pessimistic view takes away our perception that we have choices in how we want to think and behave. You can adjust your thinking and focus on strengths that help establish a more optimistic outlook. Doing so will affirm your mental toughness and make you a happier person.

The first step to leveraging your strengths is to take inventory of them. Do not downplay or minimize any possible strength! Itโ€™s time to boast a bit and bask in the glory of your positive attributes. Think about what comes to mind on your own, comments and compliments you have been given by others, or direct feedback from school or work by way of grades or raises.

Read The Key To Bliss: Let Go Of Expectations and Avoid Suffering

3. Falling in Love with Yourself

Loving yourself is an excellent idea! Iโ€™m not talking about the narcissistic version of self-love but the version where you have positive regard for your own well-being and happiness. People who pour themselves into a troubled relationship find that they have neglected their individual needs and contentment. They have not been, loving or kind toward themselves, even if it is unintentional.

Self-love is about putting yourself first, forgiving your mistakes, and accepting yourself regardless of perceived imperfections. It is also about embracing joy, realizing your ability to grow, and taking care of and protecting yourself. It can influence your choices in love, work, and friendships. It can impact your ability to cope with distress.

Engaging in loving and kind self-care behaviors is an ongoing practice, and it will help you live with integrity and intention.

4. Finding a Sense of Purpose

Without a sense of purpose, you will continue to mentally suffer. Without purpose, you will meander pointlessly through life without intention. For example, your tendency to continuously try to fix your relationship can be an attempt to alleviate your pain around it. But, it may have unintentionally become your purpose, and it is an unhealthy one that will never leave you in peace.

Alternatively, having a healthy and invigorating sense of purpose, engaging in work, and activities that bring joy and satisfaction, will help you thrive in life and your relationships.

By focusing attention outward, your mental energy is channeled into something useful and purposeful. It is not concentrated inward on yourself, your negative mood, obsessive thoughts, and so on. It is valuable to think about being part of something bigger than yourself, especially when it involves helping mankind.

Doing so will improve your sense of achievement, self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, and well-being.

Read Overcome the Fear & Follow your Purpose

5. Finding Meaning in Your Struggles

If your search for a meaningful romantic connection has been rife with struggle, you can benefit from finding the meaning and lessons that lie within those struggles. View pain as a hidden invitation to growth. You are stronger than you think you are to have come this far already.

Now start exploring the significance of the hurt and pain and perhaps even the positives that have come out of your experiences. You do not have to be thankful for the experience itself, but maybe you might be grateful for the meaning found and lessons learned from it.

You may not have realized that there is a lot you can do when you give up trying to change your partner. Gaining self-awareness about your own behavior, learning to love yourself, focusing on your strengths, and developing a sense of purpose are all worthwhile strategies in these circumstances. Shifting your focus may open up a world of possibility and growth you didnโ€™t realize was possible.


Written by Dr. Marni Feuerman
Originally Appeared In The Talking Solution

When your partner refuses to change their behaviors that hurt you, then after a point you have to let it go. Even if you decide to continue with the relationship, it is important for your mental health and happiness, that you try to let go of their negative traits. Sure, it will be difficult initially, but worth it in the long run.

If you want to know more about letting go when your partner refuses to change, then check this video out below:

Let Go When Partner Refuses Change pin
How To Let Go When Your Partner Refuses To Change pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

As within so without. โ€“ Mind Talk

Through the magic void of possibilities we mold our world. We are the creators. By emanating the frequency of what we want, we create a whirl of energy that will manifest and emerge. Therefore as we are constantly doing this whether we want or not Itยดs important to be clear of what state of frequency we radiate. Our thoughts are frequencies in vision and our emotions are frequencies in body sensations. What we focus on and merge with (allowing your being to co-vibrate with) we become, we create.

Up Next

4 Types of Emotional Attachments: Recognize the Right Bond You Are Cultivating

In a world where emotional attachments are being tagged as overrated nowadays, soft-hearted souls still yearn to find perfect emotional bonds.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Emotions, alongside trust and resilience, are foundational pillars of a thriving relationship. As our post-modern society undergoes significant shifts in how we connect with others, understanding em

Up Next

What Is Val-Core Dating: 4 Signs This Is Your Thing!

One of the latest dating trends in 2024 is the Val-core dating or value-based dating. But is it a new trend or has it just been newly named? Have you always prioritized values to choose a partner? Did you feel attracted to someone who shares the same values?

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

In Val-core dating people choose partners based on the values that matter to them.

Up Next

4 Clear Signs of Secure Attachment in Adults and Its Impact on Their Relationships

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly navigate the complexities of relationships, while others struggle to find lasting connections? The secret lies in understanding the concept of secure attachment style in adults.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Just like a strong foundation supports a sturdy building, a secure attachment style serves as t

Up Next

What Is Ambivalent Attachment Style? The War Between Craving Connection And Fearing Rejection

Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions when it comes to your relationships? Do you sometimes feel an overwhelming desire for closeness, only to push others away when they get too close? If so, you may be experiencing ambivalent attachment. But what is ambivalent attachment?

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Letโ€™s delve

Up Next

Who Is A Dismissive Avoidant? 10 Behavioral Traits and their Ghosting Phenomenon Explained

Have you ever felt like someone was so into you one minute and then vanished from the face of the earth? Hate to break it to you, but you were not just ghosted, you were โ€œdismissive avoidantโ€ ghosted. Itโ€™s a relationship magic trick, and definitely not the fun kind. So who is a dismissive avoidant and what is dismissive avoidant ghosting, really?

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Why Youโ€™re Attracted To Certain People? Exploring the Science of Human Chemistry

Attraction is a complex aspect of human relationships that plays an important role in shaping our romantic endeavors. Understanding why youโ€™re attracted to certain people can offer valuable insights into your personality, experiences, and emotional needs.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Whether drawn to intelligence, kindness, or shared interests, your attractions are