Trying to stay sane among toxic people can seem like a mentally formidable task, but letting them get to you all the time is also not the solution.
The best thing you can do, of course, is avoiding them like the plague โ because in some ways thatโs what negativity is. It is contagious and if youโre not well prepared or not in the right frame of mind, it can infect you. Donโt let it!
Instead, use these handy and hopeful tips to keep yourself sane.
1. Donโt let them drag you down to their level
Do you know the saying, โDonโt argue with idiots as theyโll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience?โ Thatโs true of toxic people as well. Theyโre far better at being negative and defeating than you are, so donโt fight them at their own game.
That doesnโt mean you canโt say anything about what theyโre doing โ youโve got to point it out occasionally, otherwise just bottling all of that up will have you tearing your hair out.
But when you do say something, make certain that you donโt do it from a place of frustration or anger. Instead, do so from a calm place. Make your case without exaggeration or hyperbole. Tell them only the indisputable facts and then, if you can, let them mull it over before you discuss it.
Related: 8 Types Of Toxic People You Should Leave Without Feeling Guilty
2. Ration yourself
Sometimes you just have to be there for a friend because theyโre having a bad time and they need your help. Thatโs a very admirable thing to do. Just make certain that youโre not the only person that ends up doing it by always being there.
Your time isnโt theirs, it is yours. If you want to give it to them, thatโs fine. But it has to be appreciated and it canโt ever become expected. If it has become either of those things than something has gone terribly wrong.
Then it might be time to ration your time with them more tightly.
And donโt feel guilty about doing it either! After all, though perhaps we canโt control what happens to us in our lives, how we view what has happened is our own responsibility. Whatโs more, if youโre there too much for people you can turn from help into a crutch. You might end up enabling their behavior rather than helping them change that.
And how does that help anybody?
3. Set up your exit strategy
In order to ration your time, make certain you set up existing strategies. This is some mechanism whereby you can get away if they corner you. ย Then you can pull on out of your sleeve when things become too much and can make a quick getaway before things become too bad.
Itโs like a big panic button that you can press to get out and just having one of those can sometimes be enough to make a situation bearable.
Related: 9 Types of Toxic People That Will Drain Your Energy
4. Donโt complain about them
After youโre done with them, donโt become like them by complaining about them to other people, because then youโre allowing their toxicity to spread and infect the people you care about! Instead, be the dam, be the wall, be the container that keeps that personโs toxicity from spreading on to your friends.
In that way, youโre also making certain that you donโt become the next toxic person. Whatโs more, just because it feels good, doesnโt mean that it actually helps. Take this parable: If I love somebody and I show it all the time, by buying flowers, taking them out to dinner and telling them how I feel, do I end up feeling less love? Or will I feel more love?
Well, if it works that way with love (and with anger) then itโs going to work that way with frustration and irritation as well. And that is the absolute last thing you should let a person like this do!
So instead, focus on the good things, the little inspirations, and donโt let this horrible, negative person occupy your mental real estate any more than they already do.
5. The opposite of depression
It isnโt happiness, according to the psychiatrist Peter Kramer, but its resilience. So work on being mentally resilient, by getting enough sleep, eating well, getting enough exercise, maintaining good relationships with people that arenโt toxic, having a purpose and being grateful for the good things in your life.
If you can do all of that then youโll have the resilience in your life that even when you have to engage with toxic people, theyโll only be a minor annoyance and you wonโt find yourself dwelling on the horrible things theyโve said and done.
The best way to resist the problems in life is to have mental balance, resilience, and the strength to deal with your problems effectively or ignore them โ whichever the better strategy might be. And if you can do that, you might just find that the people other people find toxic are actually quite funny and interesting, once you get to know them.
Or not, but then youโve got all the other strategies I outlined above, donโt you?
If you want to know more about toxic people, then check this video out below:
Leave a Reply