Malignant narcissist traits are like the villainous vibes you get from your favorite TV bad guys—but this time, it’s real life, and you’re the target. Just imagine having to deal with someone who has the manipulative charm of Cersei Lannister mixed with the cold cruelty of Patrick Bateman. Sounds terrifying, doesn’t it?
If you’ve ever felt like you’re in a constant power struggle with someone who always seems to win, you might be facing a malignant narcissist.
People with malignant narcissistic personality disorder are downright dangerous, be it psychologically, emotionally or even physically. And when it comes to dealing with a malignant narcissist, even if it’s a covert malignant narcissist, you need to be very, very careful.
Today we are going to talk about 9 glaring malignant narcissist traits, how to deal with a malignant narcissist and the difference between narcissist vs malignant narcissist.
Related: Why Malignant Narcissists Inflict Great Harm, But Benign Narcissists Don’t
Narcissist Vs Malignant Narcissist
1) Intent
A narcissist craves attention and admiration to feel important. They always look for praise and validation from others.
On the other hand, a malignant narcissist takes it a step further, not just seeking admiration but actively trying to control and dominate others, often by manipulating and intimidating them.
2) Empathy Levels
When it comes to narcissist vs malignant narcissist, narcissists have low empathy, meaning they struggle to truly connect with others’ feelings. However, they might pretend to care if it benefits them.
Malignant narcissists, on the other hand, lack empathy altogether. They’re not just indifferent to others’ pain—they often take pleasure in it.
3) Manipulation
Both narcissists and malignant narcissists use manipulation to get what they want, but how they go about doing it is a bit different. A narcissist might twist the truth or use their charm to get what they want.
But a malignant narcissist is far more devious. They manipulate with a cold, calculated intent, often with a cruel or malicious edge.
4) Aggression
When criticized or challenged, a narcissist might react with anger or defensiveness, often lashing out impulsively.
If you are wondering what is a malignant narcissist, then they are more sinister—they don’t just react; they plan. Their aggression is often calculated, and they like to seek a long term revenge, so that they can cause the most harm.
5) Relationships
When it comes to narcissists, they maintain relationships as long as it serves their need for ego-boosting and validation. They tend to discard people once they’re no longer useful.
Malignant narcissists, however, often destroy relationships deliberately. They take pleasure in causing pain and chaos, leaving a trail of emotional wreckage behind.
6) Self-Image
When it comes to narcissist vs malignant narcissist, narcissists are obsessed with how they are perceived by others. Their self-worth is tied to their image, so it’s not really a surprise they go to great lengths to maintain it.
Malignant narcissists, however, are less concerned with image and more focused on maintaining power and control over others, even if it means being feared or hated.
7) Guilt and Remorse
Narcissists might feel a twinge of guilt if they’re exposed or if their what they do lead to public shame, though it’s more about how people perceive them than genuine remorse.
Malignant narcissists, however, feel no absolutely no guilt or remorse for their actions. They justify their harmful behavior and often believe they’re entitled to act the way they do.
8) Lying
Narcissists lie to protect their carefully crafted image or to avoid criticism. Their lies are often self-serving but somewhat transparent.
Malignant narcissists lie as a way of life, with no regard for the truth. Their lies are more strategic and often meant to deceive, manipulate, or destroy others.
9) Reaction to Loss
Narcissist vs malignant narcissist? When a narcissist loses validation or control, they feel devastated and might sink into depression or self-pity or depression. They desperately crave the validation they’ve lost.
Malignant narcissists, however, react with vengeance. They don’t just feel the loss—they seek to destroy whatever or whoever caused it, often ruthlessly.
10) Underlying Sadism
Narcissists may inadvertently hurt others in their when it comes to chasing attention and admiration, usually because they’re so focused on themselves.
On the other hand, malignant narcissists take it a step further—they hurt others on purpose. They show sadistic tendencies, as they find satisfaction in others’ pain and suffering.
Okay, now that we know the differences between narcissist vs malignant narcissist, let’s talk about most obvious malignant narcissist traits.
Related: Why You Should Stop Trying To Change The Malignant Narcissist
9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That You Should Keep An Eye Out For
1. They exploit, abuse and then discard people.
Malignant narcissists are experts at treating people like disposable tools. They’ll use someone until they’ve sucked all the value out of them—whether it’s money, status, or emotional support—and then drop them like yesterday’s trash.
Take Tom Ripley from The Talented Mr. Ripley, for example. He befriends people only to exploit their wealth and status, ultimately discarding them when they’re no longer useful or when they pose a threat to his carefully crafted façade.
2. They think they are the most talented and have the best accomplishments.
This is a common sign of a covert malignant narcissist. They believe they’re the best at everything, even if it’s not the case. They’ll exaggerate their achievements and talents, even if it means bending the truth or outright lying.
Their arrogance and constant need to flaunt their accomplishments often rub people the wrong way. However, unlike a benign narcissist, a malignant one will go as far as rewriting history, taking credit for others’ work, or belittling others to elevate themselves, with no regard for the damage they cause.
3. They feel an excessive need for admiration.
What is a malignant narcissist? Malignant narcissists crave constant praise and validation. They’ll do whatever it takes to be the center of attention and feel admired. Take Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada. Her entire persona is built around being admired, feared, and revered.
She demands perfection and expects everyone around her to bow down to her every whim. If the admiration stops, even for a second, she becomes cruel and dismissive, often lashing out to regain control.
This obsessive need for admiration makes them impossible to satisfy, as they can never get enough.
4. They are extremely paranoid.
People who suffer from malignant narcissistic personality disorder, are deeply paranoid beings, always convinced that others are out to get them. This paranoia can drive them to take extreme measures to protect themselves, even when there’s no real threat.
Annie Wilkes from Misery is a prime example. Her paranoia about people betraying her or not living up to her expectations leads her to terrifying acts of violence.
This constant suspicion makes it impossible for them to maintain healthy relationships, as they’re always on the lookout for signs of betrayal, even when none exist.
5. They have sadistic tendencies.
Sadism is one of the darkest malignant narcissist traits—they take pleasure in causing others pain. This isn’t just about physical harm; it can also involve emotional or psychological torment.
Do you remember Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones? He is a chilling example. He delights in inflicting suffering on others, whether it’s through cruel words or violent actions.
His sadism is a way for him to assert power and control, showing that he can do whatever he wants, no matter how twisted. For malignant narcissists, seeing others in pain is proof of their dominance.
6. They show signs of psychopathy.
Psychopathy is a common signs of malignant personality disorder; malignant narcissists suffer from a complete lack of empathy or remorse. They can commit terrible acts and not feel a shred of guilt.
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho embodies this trait. He lives a double life as a successful businessman by day and a cold-blooded killer by night, all while feeling nothing for his victims.
This psychopathic tendency makes malignant narcissists incredibly dangerous because they don’t have the moral compass that stops most people from doing harm. They see people as objects to be used, manipulated, or destroyed.
Related: Signs You Are Dealing With A Malignant Narcissist And How To Cope
7. They refuse to let go of grudges and are obsessed with revenge.
One of the common signs of a covert malignant narcissist, they are truly the masters of holding grudges and taking revenge, often in the most vicious ways. They never forget a slight, real or imagined, and will go to great lengths to settle the score.
Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones is infamous for her vengeful nature. She waits for the perfect moment to strike back at those who have wronged her, often with devastating consequences.
For malignant narcissists, revenge isn’t just a response—it’s a calculated act of retribution that they believe helps them get back their damaged pride and reassert their power.
8. They don’t possess a conscience.
A lack of conscience is one of the biggest malignant narcissist traits. They can do the most heinous things without feeling any sort guilt or remorse. Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter is a perfect example of this. He murders, tortures, and manipulates without a second thought, all in pursuit of his own power.
Voldemort’s actions are driven by his belief that he’s above everyone else, and his lack of conscience allows him to commit acts of pure evil without hesitation.
This trait makes malignant narcissists, including covert malignant narcissists incredibly dangerous because there’s nothing holding them back from doing harm.
9. They will sweep you off your feet with their charm initially.
One of the most deceptive malignant narcissist traits is their initial charm. They can be incredibly charismatic, drawing people in with their wit, charm, and confidence. Take for example, Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs.
Despite being a cannibalistic serial killer, he’s charming and articulate, easily manipulating those around him. However, this charm is a façade, designed to lure people in and push them to lower their defenses.
Once they have you hooked and wrapped around their thumb, the mask comes off, and the true malignant narcissist emerges, leaving you wondering how you missed all the red flags.
Okay, that we know the major signs of malignant narcissistic personality disorder, let’s talk about how to deal with a malignant narcissist.
How To Deal With A Malignant Narcissist?
- Make sure you record and document everything: Keep a record of all your conversations and interactions, especially if they’re causing trouble at work or in legal matters. Having evidence can protect you in case they start twisting the truth or putting the blame on you.
- Always, always focus on the facts, and not your emotions: If there’s no other option but engaging with them, then stick to the facts. Don’t let them draw you into emotional arguments, because they know very well how to use your feelings against you.
- Use the “Gray Rock” method: How to deal with a malignant narcissist? Be as boring and unresponsive as a gray rock. The less interesting you are, the less they’ll want to engage with you.
- Avoid getting into arguments with them: It’s better not to waste your energy trying to win arguments with them. They thrive on conflict and will try to twist things to make you out to be the villain.
- Ask for support from your friends and family: How to deal with a malignant narcissist? Don’t face them alone. Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re dealing with and can offer advice or emotional support.
- Educate yourself about narcissism as much as you can: Learn more about what is a malignant narcissist. The more you know about their tactics, the better you can defend yourself.
- Don’t expect them to change for the better: This may be hard to accept, but they will never change. Don’t waste your energy hoping they’ll see the light—it’s better to focus on protecting yourself.
- Have an exit plan ready: How to deal with a malignant narcissist? If you’re stuck in a situation with one, start planning your way out. Whether it’s leaving a toxic job or relationship, make sure you have fool proof strategy in place.
- Stay calm, confident and don’t let them ruffle your feathers: Malignant narcissists feed on fear and insecurity. Stay calm, assertive, and confident in your interactions to deny them the reaction they crave.
Related: Who Is A Malignant Narcissist And How Do They Destroy Someone Emotionally
Have you ever had to deal with someone suffering from malignant narcissistic personality disorder? Or a covert malignant narcissist, for that matter of fact? Do let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments down below!
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