What You Should Know Before Double Texting Your Crush (Ignore At Your Own Peril)

Ever heard of double texting? It’s like when you send a message, get no response, and then hit send again, hoping for a miracle. Simply put, it’s the digital equivalent of poking someone repeatedly to get their attention.

It is okay when you do it to your best friend- fire off 10 texts in a row, and spam them with memes and tiktoks. They’d probably just laugh and roll their eyes. But try the same with someone you’ve only known a few days, and suddenly you’re tiptoeing into “clingy” territory faster than you can say “send.”

So to save you from the potential embarrassment, today we’ll discuss some basic rules while double texting and how to avoid it.

But first, let’s fully understand what exactly double texting is.

What is double texting?

Double texting is when you send a second message before getting a reply to the first one. It is, however, not double texting if you send texts in a row. For example, you send a “hi” first and then “how you doing” in the next line. It is only double texting if the person hasn’t responded to your first text, and then you shoot another one hoping to get their attention.

We get it—you’re anxious, afraid of being ghosted by your crush, and desperate for their attention. But double texting can often make things worse, making you look desperate. To save you from this dating faux pas, here are some basic double texting rules to keep in mind.

Basic rules for double texting

1. Wait for them to respond

When you do not get a response immediately, you might start to think whether the other person is ignoring you. Maybe. But not always. Sometimes people are just busy or not in the right headspace to respond. So, give them some time. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least 24 hours before firing off a follow-up text.

This waiting period allows the other person to respond at their convenience without feeling pressured. And it gives you time to reassess whether a second message is really necessary.

Read More: Dating Today Is Like Giant Game Of Mind F*ck That I Refuse To Participate In

2. How long have you been dating?

Before sending another text, assess where your relationship with the said person stands. If it’s new, listen to me, and put your phone down. Trust me, you do not want to scare them off or risk being branded as clingy.

However, if you have been dating for a while, say three months, and feel like you have a real connection, then it may be fine to send a follow-up message and check on them. It is really all about how close your relationship has grown.

3. Text them when they are most likely to respond

I know you are anxious. It’s been hours, they haven’t responded, and you have a feeling that they are ignoring you. But do not text at an off-hour hoping to feel better.

For one, if you text late at night, you are setting yourself up for failure since they probably might have gone to bed by then. It will only leave you anxiety-ridden and angry. Did they read it? Are they going to see it? Will they respond this time? 

So, if you want to increase your chances of getting a quick response, pick a time of the day when they’re less likely to be busy or distracted.

4. Use humor to break the ice

Humor is a great way to break the ice and keep things light when sending a second text. A well-timed joke or funny meme can help diffuse the tension that might come with double texting.

But it is also important to use humour wisely. Not everyone shares your sense of humor. So if you feel like they might not get the reference, refrain from using that particular joke. It is better to stick to more universal forms of humor that are less likely to confuse the other person.

5. Ask a question if you want an answer

To up your odds of receiving a response, always include a question in your text. Instead of sending a vague or empty message, ensure your texts prompt a reply by posing a clear question that sparks their interest. 

For instance, if you share a meme or a funny reel, add a caption asking for their input, like “What do you think?” This way, they’ll understand you’re seeking a response and are less likely to leave you on read or in the dreaded “like-zone.”

6. What are they usually doing at the time you texted them?

Timing matters when sending a text. Messaging someone in the middle of the workday might not yield an immediate response, as many people are busy with work commitments. It’s wise to choose a time when they’re more likely to reply right away. 

Usually morning and evenings are when they’re likely to be on their phone. So, take note of the time when you text them next time to avoid slipping into the double texting territory. 

7. Match their efforts

Don’t double text unless it’s mutual. If you’ve been talking for a while and both of you regularly send multiple texts, then a second message isn’t a big deal—as long as you don’t go overboard. But if that’s not the vibe you’re getting, you might want to pump the brakes on double texting. 

An occasional follow-up is okay, but if you’re constantly finding yourself sending one message after another without much response, it’s time to face the music – they’re just not that into you.

8. Don’t be passive-aggressive

It’s totally normal to feel a tad disappointed when your crush or date hasn’t responded to your initial message. We’ve all been there. But try not to sound accusatory or passive-aggressive. Saying something like “Why are you ignoring me?” or “I guess you’re too busy for me” are major turn-offs and will only make matters worse.

Sending an accusatory text might make them feel guilty, or worse, annoyed. I’m sure that is not what we want. So, take a deep breath, calm yourself, and approach the situation with a touch of grace and understanding. A little patience can go a long way.

Read More: When You Regret Texting Your Ex: Here’s What You Should Do

9. Know when to take a hint

If you’ve sent a double text and still haven’t received a response, it may be time to accept that they might not be interested. Remember, no response is a response in itself, though perhaps not the one you were hoping for.

Continuously bombarding them with text after text will only make you appear desperate and pushy. If they’re genuinely interested, they’ll reach out when they’re ready. 

Sometimes, letting go gracefully is the best course of action.

But, of course, there are cases when it is okay to double text. Below are a few examples:

When is it ok to double text?

1. You need a quick response

If you’re meeting someone and arrive at the location only to find it’s closed, sending a follow-up message is necessary to coordinate. For example, “Hey, I’m here but the place is closed. Should we meet somewhere else?” This ensures you’re both on the same page and quickly coordinate.

2. You forgot to include important information

This happens to the best of us. You send a text and then realize you left out crucial information. In this case, it’s not just acceptable but necessary to send another text to clarify. For example, “Oops, I forgot to mention the time! Can we meet at 7 PM?” ensures the message is clear and complete.

3. You’re checking in on someone’s well-being

Sometimes, the reason your S.O./crush/best friend isn’t responding is maybe because they are going through something. If that is the case, sending a second text shows that you care.

However, if your situation matches none of the above scenarios, but you are still itching to send that second text, here is what you can say in a double text.

What to say in a double text?

Being left on read might be humbling. But what is worse is being ignored even after sending a second text. So, here are some methods to help you avoid being seen-zoned again.

1. Move to a new topic

Most times when we leave people on read is because we feel that there is nothing more to add to the conversation. So, rather than stretching that same subject, switch the topic to something more interesting that is likely to catch their attention.

2. Keep them guessing

If you want a response, a surefire way is to leave out some details and be mysterious. Say, for example, you could mention an exciting part of your day that is likely to prompt them to ask for more details. Something like, “OMG, today was incredible! You won’t believe who I bumped into today!” should work. 

3. A friendly check-in

If it has been some time since they responded, send a casual check-in, like, “Just wanted to see how your week is going. Anything exciting happening?” This shows that you are thinking of them and is also a gentle way to re-engage the conversation.

Read More: 5 Signs You Are Texting With A Narcissist

How to avoid double texting?

Sending multiple texts can soon get annoying for the other person and might make you look pushy. So, it is best to give them the time and space to text you back when they are ready. Meanwhile, read on to find out how you can avoid double texting them while you wait for an answer.

1. Distract yourself

Do something else. Rather than sitting and thinking about why they are not responding, do something you enjoy. Try reading a book, working out, taking your pet on a walk, or spending time with your friends.

2. Read previous messages to notice the efforts they are putting in

If you are confused about whether they are busy or just not interested, the best way to find out is to scroll through the previous messages and look at the effort they are putting in. 

If they have always been quick to respond, maybe they are busy with something right now. However, if they have always been a little distant, you need to take the hint and leave them alone. 

3. Keep your phone aside

Constantly checking your phone will only make you feel antsier as you wait. So try to take a deep breath and relax. Put your phone on silent mode or switch it off for a few hours. If needed, lock it away in a drawer or hand it over to someone till the urge to text them subsides.

Final Thoughts

Communication is a two-way street, and double texting should not become a habit. It’s acceptable when you’re making plans, need an urgent response, or simply want to offer support during a tough time. However, if you find yourself consistently being ignored, it’s a clear indication to respect that silence and move on.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)