5 Reasons You End Up Playing The Rescuer In Relationships Every Time

Are you always playing the role of a rescuer in relationships?ย 

Willing to help others and motivate yourself to see the good in others cannot be a wrong thing? Right? But this compassionate gesture can be harmful to their welfare when others feel that they can manipulate you, especially to perform the role of a rescuer in relationships. Because you tend to gravitate towards helping your partner out, in whatever situation to the extent of making excuses for their toxic behavior.

If youโ€™re an empathetic person, more often than not, you see the good in people. Although youโ€™ve been burned before, youโ€™re all too willing to put the past behind you because you think that people will either change or be different than the last relationship you were in.

While this is a good perspective to some extent, what often happens is that you end up playing the rescuer in relationships. Rather than leaving your partner to fend for himself/herself, you swoop in. You are the savior, the caretaker, the fixer.

You are empathetic, yes, but to a fault sometimes.

You donโ€™t have to live this way, though. If you recognize the signs early, you can avoid becoming the one thatโ€™s doing all the work. Instead, you can fall for someone whoโ€™s willing to meet you halfway and be the one by your side, rather than the one you have to carry.

Read: The White Knight Syndrome: Understanding and Overcoming It

Here are 5 signs youโ€™ll end up playing the rescuer in relationships (and how to stop this before it even starts):

1. Youโ€™re All Too Quick To Say โ€˜Yesโ€™ To Any Request.

Rescuer in relationships

One of the main reasons that you are a rescuer in relationships is that you have a โ€˜yesโ€™ problem. Whenever someone asks you to do something, or something falls into your lap you jump at the opportunity.

Rather than weighing out if you even have the capacity to complete the task, or think through whether or not itโ€™s feasible with your time and schedule, youโ€™re already committing. And this causes people to rely on you more than they should.

2. You Havenโ€™t Created Clear Boundaries.

You have a big heart, sometimes too big in the fact that youโ€™ll sacrifice yourself to help someone out. What youโ€™re often lacking in your relationships are boundaries. This goes beyond saying โ€˜noโ€™ to things you donโ€™t agree withโ€”itโ€™s about having limits in place for what you can and canโ€™t handle, or what you can and canโ€™t do.

Boundaries arenโ€™t wrong. In fact, theyโ€™re healthy. And if you recognize that you havenโ€™t really set clear ones, or are pushing the line to put someone elseโ€™s needs first, itโ€™s a clear sign youโ€™ll end up being the one carrying the weight.

3. You Tend To Be Wishy-Washy About Your Commitments, Beliefs, Or Perspectives.

If youโ€™re not set on what you think, believe, and want to do, youโ€™re going to end up changing your mind. While itโ€™s not necessarily bad to change your mind or be persuaded to think in a new way, it does become healthy if youโ€™re losing yourself in the process.

Youโ€™ll end up becoming the rescuer in your relationships if youโ€™re not clear about what you want or believe. Since you wonโ€™t establish that (for others and even more importantly, for yourself) youโ€™ll lose yourself completely in the connection.

4. You Like To Take Control Of The Situation, Even When Itโ€™s Not Yours To Own.

A sure sign youโ€™ll end up playing the rescuer in your relationships is when youโ€™re always the one to take control. When a situation falls apart, youโ€™re the first person to step in. when something doesnโ€™t go right, youโ€™re the one that puts it all on your shoulders.

This not only leaves you feeling empty and exhausted, but teaches others that they donโ€™t have to take responsibility for what they doโ€”you will.

Read: Are You A Caregiver or Codependent Caretaker?

5. Youโ€™ve Found Yourself Saying, โ€œI Can Do It,โ€ Or โ€œIโ€™ve Got This,โ€ Rather Than Properly Delegating The Load.

Delegating is definitely not your strong suit.

Youโ€™d rather do everything yourself than rely on someone else. But this makes people lose their sense of drive and the load all falls on youโ€”a sure sign youโ€™ll end up being the fixer when everything falls apart.

And Hereโ€™s How To Avoid Becoming The โ€˜Rescuerโ€™:

If you donโ€™t want to end up being the savior, itโ€™s all about setting your standards from the start. Communicate your wants, needs, and ideas before fully committing to a relationship. Be transparent about whatโ€™s important to you and make sure that the person you fall for is capable of carrying his or her own weight.

While you donโ€™t have to hold people at armโ€™s length, you do have to be clear and confident. Itโ€™s not wrong to care about people, but you shouldnโ€™t have to save, fix, or rescue them. They are capable of doing that for themselves.


5 Signs Youโ€™ll End Up Playing The Rescuer In Your Relationships
5 Signs Youโ€™ll End Up Playing The Rescuer In Your Relationships
playing the rescuer in relationships pin

— Share —

, , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream โ€˜Stay Away!โ€™

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These arenโ€™t just common personality flaws โ€“ these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. Weโ€™ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

What Is Child Abuse? Recognizing The Warning Signs

Child abuse and neglect is a very sensitive subject that needs to be handled with care.

One canโ€™t really associate a state like this with just bruises. There is emotional, as well as physical exploitation. Also, for a little kid to heal or recover from it, the earlier one spots the signs of it, the better it is.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or itโ€™s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, weโ€™re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults โ€“ those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

KEY POINTS

Adult temp

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. Itโ€™s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Maybe it was the feeling that somethingโ€™s missing from your childhood, but you cou

Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twistin