9 Personality Traits of Assertive People

Personality Traits Assertive People 2

What is the secret of assertive people? What makes them the way they are?

Be assertive without stepping on toes.

Can you learn how to be assertive? You know, that person at work, the grocery store, or the gym who is self-assured and confident, but not aggressive?

The person who is kind, sincere, and able to form bridges between people? This person demonstrates assertiveness.

Assertiveness is a critical life skill and a learnable one.

But, assertive people are not necessarily born that way. Rather, they value communication and are willing to work on improving their communication style and habits.

Here are the 9 personality traits of assertive people.

1. Assertive people are self-confident.

You know who you are, what you like, and what you dislike. You value yourself, but not in an โ€œover the top,โ€ arrogant way.

Youโ€™re confident in your opinions, yet you do not believe that youโ€™re superior. You recognize that you, too, have strengths and weaknesses.

Related: 10 Things A Confident Strong Woman Will Do Differently

2. They have self-respect and respect for others.

assertive people have high self-respect

You welcome all opinions without judgment. You donโ€™t criticize people whose opinions are different from yours. You also know how to manage rejection.

Your behaviors align with your conscience. You donโ€™t make decisions in order to simply receive approval from others, but rather to be consistent with your values.

Related: 7 Inner Archetypes That Cripple Your Confidence and Self-Respect

Like everyone else, you would like to be acknowledged by others. However, if this doesnโ€™t happen, you donโ€™t fall into the rabbit hole of acting against your own conscience.

3. Assertive people are often good listeners.

Youโ€™re able to tune into people when in conversation with them. You are not distracted, thinking about your reply while seemingly listening.

4. They are comfortable with compromise.

You recognize shades of gray and that few things in life are โ€œall or none.โ€

You are not looking to be the โ€œwinnerโ€ โ€” because there is no battle.

5. Assertive people validate othersโ€™ feelings.

validate others' feelings

When in conversation, youโ€™re aware of peopleโ€™s feelings. You know that itโ€™s insensitive to dismiss their point of view or get into a boxing match.

Your overall ability to communicate is excellent. You know that problems are often due to miscommunication and that improved communication can resolve many problems.

6. Assertive people are sincere.ย 

Beliefs, not benefits, motivate you.

You donโ€™t seek or remain in relationships with ongoing conflict. You value good relationships โ€” sans the hypocrisy or lies.

7. They have humility.

You recognize that all people, including yourself, are human beings. To be human means to be flawed.

None of us is perfect. You are well aware of this fact and use your own โ€œflawsโ€ as motivation to become a better human.

8. Assertive people are good at self-regulation.

This is the ability to remain in a โ€œzone of toleranceโ€ย with difficult emotions. When you feel emotions such as anger or frustration, you process them in a calm and controlled manner.

You donโ€™t lash out or otherwise improperly express your feelings. Youโ€™re also able to help other people remain in their zone of tolerance,ย so that they, too, donโ€™t lose control of their feelings.

9. They set boundaries.

You recognize that not everyone is going to get along โ€” thatโ€™s how human nature works. Others may have built up resentments or harbor negative desires.

You recognize you arenโ€™t necessarily going to change that. Instead, you know where and how to draw a line. You also recognize that not everyone will necessarily like you.

Related: 9 Essential Core Boundaries To Set In Relationships, Work and Life

It would be rare for someone to innately possess these characteristics. As humans, we all have work to do on self-growth and personal development.

Being aware of how assertiveness would look, sound, and feel in your interactions is a great place to start.


Originally appeared on: YourTango

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