4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time and Family Time

Striking the perfect balance between couple-time and family time is crucial for sustaining a marriage and keeping it healthy. 

When parents solve the conundrum between couple time and family time.

I continue to see a growing trend in my private practice of partners struggling to find the balance between couple-time and family time. Some parents become so focused on their children that they neglect their marriage in the process.

While children thrive when they receive lots of love from caregivers, parents need alone time to recharge and focus on their romantic relationship which brought them together in the first place.

According to Psychologist Pat Love,

“Each and every day, parents experience the joy of making a child’s life better, more productive, and far more meaningful – all while doing the same for themselves.”

Strive to balance your couple time and family time

In Fighting for Your Marriage, author Harold J. Markman, Ph.D. says the amount of fun partners have together is a key factor in predicting their overall marital happiness.

Markman explains, “When we interview couples planning a marriage, we learn that most of them have tons of fun early in the relationship. But for too many, fun fizzles out as time goes by.”

Sydney and Kevin, both in their late thirties, are raising two sons aged ten and twelve. They were on the brink of divorce because they had drifted apart.

Both work full-time, are drained by the demands of parenting and had fallen into the trap of neglecting their relationship.

Kevin reflects, “Sydney wants to spend most of her evenings and weekends as a family, but I don’t get home from work until 8 pm most nights.

By the time Friday night rolls around, I just want to go out to dinner with Syd. I see it as a priority to play with the boys on weekends, but I need time to recover from work and I want to spend more quality time with her.”

Sydney responds, “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I feel really torn. I don’t want to leave the kids with a babysitter on Friday nights because they’re in school and after school care all week.”

During couples therapy, Sydney and Kevin started questioning their priorities and how they spend time outside of work.

Fortunately, they are dedicated to each other and determined to create a couple-time so they can avoid seeing their marriage crumble.

They decided to rotate every other Friday between a dinner date night out and a pizza and movie night in with the kids. This plan allowed all family members to get their needs met.

Dr. John Gottman’s research shows accepting your partner’s influence means considering their needs without placing blame or making judgments.

After our second session, Sydney was able to accept Kevin’s influence and realized that having time alone with him every other Friday night could benefit the entire family. Sydney noticed that she was feeling closer to Kevin and that her sons actually enjoyed having a babysitter when their parents went out.

Here are five ways to balance your time as a couple and time as a family.

1. Schedule alone time with your partner.

Couples who schedule alone time together are able to turn toward each other more often because there are fewer distractions.

Dr. John Gottman discovered that couples who divorced an average of 6 years after their wedding turned toward each other 33% of the time in his lab, while the couples who were together after 6 years turned toward each other 86% of the time. That’s a big difference.

Want some ideas for spending alone time with your partner?

Read 5 Ideal Ways You Can Keep The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

2. Build your connection in small moments.

As Sydney began spending more time with Kevin, I suggested that they practice expressing more interest in each other.

Therapist Bob Navarra suggests couples ask questions about their day-to-day life in order to learn more about each other’s world.

Over time, this led to deeper levels of both emotional and sexual connection between Sydney and Kevin and strengthened their marriage.

3. Spend quality time together as a family.

Be sure to plan special events and some vacation time with all family members, when possible, on a regular basis so everyone feels nurtured.

Ask your children what spending quality time as a family means to them. You may be surprised by their answers.

4. Let your kids know that you value your role as a partner AND parent.

By doing this, you serve as a positive role model for healthy family relationships and you show your children your partnership is sacred.

When I met with Sydney and Kevin six months after our first session for a follow-up, they were going strong and embraced the notion that Kevin’s bid for attention, affection, and support saved them from dissolving their marriage. Fortunately, Sydney was wise enough to pay attention!

Are you trying to make your kids understand the importance of family time and couple time?

Read 11 Of The Most Important Things, Parents of Successful Kids Do

You don’t have to choose between being a good parent and a good partner. Working together to find the right balance will pay off in the long run for you, your marriage, and your family.

If you want to know more about striking a balance between family time and couple-time, then check out this video below:


By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time and Family Time
4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time and Family Time

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The Parentified Daughter: 10 Signs Your Childhood Was Burdened With Responsibilities

Parentified Daughter Childhood Was Burdened With Responsibilities

They say girls “mature too fast,” but for some parentified daughters, it’s a reality driven by the heavy responsibilities for their families, well beyond their years. This phenomenon is known as child parentification.

It occurs when a child is burdened with tasks and emotional support roles that should belong to their parents or guardians. When the parentified eldest daughter takes on responsibilities early in life, it can profoundly shape her personality and relationships.

If this sounds all too real, let’s learn the common signs of a parentified daughter, so you can understand the unique challenges and childhood experiences that continue to influence their lives as adults.

Up Next

When Grandparents’ Love Goes Sour: 8 Signs Of Toxic Grandparents And How To Survive Them

Signs Of Toxic Grandparents

Have you ever noticed certain behaviors that make you wonder if your grandparents’ love might be a little… off? Spotting the signs of toxic grandparents can be tough, especially when society paints them as the ultimate source of unconditional love and support.

But sometimes, grandparents might cross boundaries, show favoritism, or create a stressful environment that doesn’t quite feel right. If you’ve ever felt uneasy about their behavior, you’re not alone.

In this article, we’ll dive into the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of toxic grandparents and give you some strategies regarding how to deal with toxic grandparents, without causing family drama.

First, let us try to understand what are toxic grandparents.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or it’s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, we’re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults – those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

The Hidden Toll of Childhood Emotional Incest: Identifying Signs and Effects

Emotional incest confuses parent-child dynamics, creating emotional dependency. Let’s look at the signs and effects of this incomprehensible relationship to gain a better understanding.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Emotional incest has been compared to actual incest because it similarly creates long-lasting effects on psychosocial developme

Up Next

How To Create A Toddler-Friendly Home: 10 Helpful Tips For New Parents!

Bringing a toddler to your house can be both exciting and challenging. As soon as they begin taking notice of their surroundings, the environment in which they dwell must be secure, comfortable, and conducive to growth.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

It is important to learn how to create a toddler-friendly home because this will provide them with holistic development o

Up Next

How to Become Pregnant with PCOS: 6 Proven Strategies For A Promising Start

Generally, women who have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) get problems in conceiving a child and starting a family. If you suffer from this condition of PCOS then we recommend you to take up this manual on how to become pregnant with PCOS. 

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

According to American Families’

Up Next

Why Do I Hate My Father? 8 Effective Ways to Mend Your Relationship

“Why do I hate my father?” – if you have ever asked yourself this question, then trust me, you are not alone. Not having a good relationship with your father is one of the most painful things to experience in life.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Father-child relationships can be really complicated in many cases, and it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Whethe