“I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. ”
— Haruki Murakami, (Norwegian Wood)
Love is the most sought after human experience. But it is generally the hardest one to find for the Old souls.
Old souls have deep wisdom and maturity and due to this wisdom, we desire to live and love authentically.
We are not looking for a love that comes from a place of lack or insecurity and therefore it is difficult for us to find love in today’s world where the majority of the people are looking for love to overcome their loneliness.
Old souls look for relationships that are healthy and not toxic, free and not binding, supportive and not smothering.
We look for passion, authenticity, true love, sincerity and depth in relationships. We want to connect with someone on all levels: emotional, physical, mental and spiritual.
Read 13 Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle To Find Love
Here are some of the key reasons why old souls have a hard time finding love:
1). We want authentic and vulnerable love
Old souls want to be in a relationship where we can celebrate mutual authenticity and vulnerability. Having the same interest and hobbies with someone is not sufficient for us. We want to show up fully and be loved for who we are in totality and not be with someone who is only interested in our shiny parts.
Because we know that it is only through vulnerability and authenticity that we open ourselves to unconditional love.
2). We are healers
We are healers and therefore we attract a lot of people who need help, while we offer love and support as much as we can, we know that a relationship where one needs to be a fixer 24/7 is unhealthy. When it comes to relationships we will choose someone who is on the same path as us and who is willing to take personal responsibility for their own growth.
3). We want the love that is a part of our growth
Old souls are interested in constant evolution. We want to be with someone who is equally interested in self-development and evolution.
We cannot put up with the cycles of drama and mind games that form a part of so many unconscious relationships where people are just trying to use the other person to overcome their loneliness or improve their sense of self.
We want someone who will love us consciously and will provide genuine feedback, support, and love and it is so rare to find people who love consciously.
4). We do not settle for surface level love: we want soul mates
We are looking for love that goes deeper than the surface. For us, love is not about just liking someone for the exterior things, comfort, lust, security or attention. We want to know and connect with someone on all the levels: mind, body, and soul.
And now-a-days it is very difficult to find people with whom we can connect on deeper levels.
Read 14 Signs You’re In A Relationship With An Old Soul
5). We have a greater purpose in life
We think deeper and constantly work on our own growth because we want to contribute and make a difference in people’s lives. We are not scared to be on our own and are quite comfortable with solitude. We are very happy to actively pursue our passions and purpose. We prefer to meet someone organically rather than spending all our time in looking for someone. And therefore it is hard for us to find love.
6). We are looking for compatibility and not just passion
Because of our deep and complex personalities, a lot of people are attracted towards us but for us, just passion won’t make a cut.
We are looking for someone who can be our best friend, confidant, and lover and be finding all that in person can be tough.
7). We do not play the dating games
The old souls do not like the dating game. The ego-based “drama”, the “addiction”, the “should and shouldn’t’” of when to text and how to text just doesn’t interest us.
That is why it is so difficult for us to find love in this Tinder Age.
8). We have wounds
Many old souls have faced difficult life situations and it only through overcoming and maturing through these situations that we have developed deep inner wisdom.
Therefore we look for someone who is patient enough to understand our journey and someone who doesn’t get scared of our wounds.
9). We are free spirited
Old souls are free-spirited. We are looking for love that helps us to expand and not contract.
The moment control is asserted to such a beautiful and transcendental experience called love, we lose interest.
We are looking for someone who understands that love should be wild but free.
Read 15 Ways The Old Soul Loves Differently – You Didn’t Know About
10). We do not want just sex
While sex and lust are alluring but do not want to be with someone just for physical gratification. While we love sex but we want more than just one night stands. We want to share our bodies with someone who likes us on the soul level and whom we like on a soul level.
11). We want a love that comes from a place of wholeness
As old souls, we understand that love that comes from a place of neediness or lack is just an ego need and cannot last forever. Therefore we want the love that is rooted in wholeness.
We want to share our wholeness with someone who is also happy and whole by themselves. We know that when two givers engage in a connection, it is like alchemy. We help each other grow and reach our highest potentials.
We do not drain each other by unnecessary drama and attention seeking games.
As old souls, we know those happy relationships are formed between two individuals whose happiness comes from within them and who do not seek someone outside themselves to complete them or make them happy.
Read 10 Universal Problems Old Souls Experience
12). We want active commitment
Old souls know that love requires nurturing and effort. We want to be with someone who follows through their words with actions. We want to be with someone with whom we can share our experiences, learning and growing together.
We would rather choose to be on our own than be with someone who is half there or not there.
It is very difficult to find someone who matches our level of intensity and commitment.
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