Revenge cheating is exactly what it sounds like—cheating on your partner as a way of “getting even” after they’ve been unfaithful. When someone feels hurt, betrayed, and powerless due to their partner’s cheating, they might choose to “revenge cheat” on them to make them feel the same pain they did.
It’s not just about finding someone else; it’s about trying to make their partner feel the same emotional pain they’re experiencing. But does it actually help?
While it might bring short-term satisfaction, revenge cheating often complicates things, leaving both partners even more hurt and confused. Today we are going to do a deep dive into this and find out what it actually entails.
First, let’s break down the psychology behind it.
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Revenge Cheating Psychology
At its core, revenge cheating is fueled by emotions—anger, betrayal, and the desire for payback. Psychologically, you may feel that you will be able to regain control if you are feeling vulnerable and powerless, after getting to know that your partner cheated on you.
You might think, “If they did it, why can’t I?” But the truth is that revenge cheating is more often than not driven by the wrong reasons. You are hurt and confused, and you don’t really want a genuine relationship, you just want revenge.
Instead of dealing with the actual issue—infidelity—revenge cheating adds another layer of betrayal.
In the end, you might feel a momentary sense of satisfaction but with time you will be filled with with guilt, regret, or even more emotional damage.
Now that we have discussed revenge cheating psychology, let’s talk about the signs of revenge cheating.
7 Signs Of Revenge Cheating
1. They are suddenly very secretive.
If your partner becomes unusually secretive, it’s a potential red flag. They might start hiding their phone, changing passwords, or turning their screen away when texting. This shift in behavior can stem from guilt or fear of getting caught.
If your partner was previously open and transparent but suddenly becomes guarded about their social media, messages, or whereabouts, it could be because they are engaging in revenge cheating.
The secrecy isn’t just about privacy—it’s about concealing actions they know would hurt or anger you if discovered.
2. They have started to put more attention to their appearance.
A drastic change in appearance is often a major sign that they are trying to impress someone new. If your partner suddenly starts putting in extra effort with their grooming, fitness, or fashion in ways they didn’t before, it might mean they’re trying to attract attention elsewhere.
Of course, people can choose to improve their appearance for many others reasons, but if the timing coincides with unresolved issues or any previous incidents of cheating, it’s worth paying attention to.
They might be trying to boost their confidence or make themselves more desirable to others as part of revenge cheating in marriage.
3. They get overly defensive when accused.
One of the major signs of revenge cheating is this. Someone who is revenge cheating might act defensively if you question them, flip the script and even accuse you of paranoia and mistrust.
If your partner becomes unusually aggressive when you ask them if they are being unfaithful, it could be because they’re trying to deflect suspicion. Instead of calmly discussing the situation, they might lash out or even accuse you of not trusting them enough.
This sort of defensive behavior is often a sign of guilt—they don’t want to admit what they’ve done, and attacking you serves as a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
4. They spend more time away from home lately.
If your partner is suddenly spending long hours away from home with vague explanations, it could be one of the signs of revenge cheating. Work, social events, or “catching up with friends” may become more frequent excuses.
They may also become less willing to include you in their plans, which could indicate they’re engaging with someone else.
This behavior can stem from a desire to disconnect from the relationship and contribute their energy somewhere else, especially if they are trying to seek validation or attention from someone new as a way to get back to you.
Related: 10 Unexpected Signs Of Cheating: How To Tell If Your Spouse Is Having An Affair
5. They have become very emotionally distant from you.
Emotional distance is one of the most telling signs of revenge cheating. If your partner seems disconnected, uninterested, or no longer emotionally invested in the relationship, it could be because they’re diverting those feelings to someone else.
Chances are they try their best to avoid deep conversations, are very indifferent to your feelings, or have stopped caring about the things that once mattered in your relationship.
This emotional withdrawal often goes hand in hand with revenge cheating, as they focus their attention and emotions on the new person rather than trying to maintain the emotional bond with you.
6. They bring up past infidelities often.
One of the subtle signs of revenge cheating in marriage is this right here. If your partner frequently brings up your past infidelity, especially in unrelated conversations or arguments, it could be a sign they’re justifying their own actions.
Revenge cheating often stems from unresolved anger, and your partner might feel entitled to cheat because of your previous mistakes.
By constantly reminding you of your past wrongdoing, they could be rationalizing their behavior, thinking, “If they did it, I can do it too.” This ultimately leads to a toxic cycle where they use your past as an excuse to cheat, believing that it’s only fair to hurt you in return and get even.
7. There’s almost no intimacy between you.
If you feel like there’s almost no emotional and physical intimacy left between you two, it is one of the major signs of revenge cheating in marriage. If your partner starts avoiding affection, stops being as physically close, or seems uninterested in any sort of emotional intimacy, they may be directing their attention elsewhere.
This change in intimacy often happens because they are emotionally and physically involved with someone else. The avoidance might not just be about guilt—it can also be because they’re emotionally distancing themselves from you and the relationship.
By pulling away, they might feel less attached to you, making it easier for them to justify their actions without having to be answerable to you.
Okay, now that we know the signs of revenge cheating, let’s talk a bit about what is the best revenge on a cheater.
What Is The Best Revenge On A Cheater?
While revenge cheating might seem like the best way to even the score, it rarely works out as planned. So, what’s the best revenge on a cheater? Simply put, living well is the ultimate revenge.
Here’s why:
- Focus on yourself: Instead of wasting energy trying to hurt them back, focus on your own healing and personal growth. When you work towards improving your emotional, mental and physical well-being, it can prevent you from being trapped in the cycle of betrayal.
- Consider cutting ties with them: If you feel that the relationship has become toxic beyond repair, the best thing you can do is leave with your dignity intact. Walking away from someone who hurt you speaks volumes, and is the best revenge on a cheater.
- Try to rebuild and get your confidence back: Work on rebuilding your self-confidence and self-worth. The best revenge on a cheater is showing that you’re thriving without them, proving that what they did didn’t break you.
At the end of the day, the best revenge is a life filled with peace, happiness, and self-worth—not lowering yourself to their level. Now we come to the question, “Is revenge cheating worth it?”. Let’s find out, shall we?
Is Revenge Cheating Worth It?
In the moment, revenge cheating might feel like a way to reclaim power or make your partner feel the pain you’ve experienced. But is it worth it? Not really. Revenge cheating usually leads to more complications, emotional pain, and confusion.
Here are a few reasons why it’s not worth it:
- Short-term satisfaction, long-term regret: Revenge cheating might feel satisfying in the heat of the moment, but the guilt and regret that follows soon after can eat up up from the inside. You may end up feeling just as bad, if not worse, than before.
- It can complicate your relationship even more: If you’re still hoping to repair the relationship, revenge cheating can make things messier. Both of you end up feeling betrayed, which makes it even harder to bring back the trust and move forward with an optimistic mindset.
- You might end up hurting innocent people: In some cases, revenge cheating can involve a third party who is unaware they’re being used. This can lead to unnecessary hurt and guilt, leaving more people caught up in the emotional crossfire.
So, is revenge cheating worth it? Ultimately, the decision of indulging in revenge cheating in marriage can leave you stuck in a cycle of pain and betrayal, making it harder to heal and move on from the original infidelity. While it may seem like an easy way out, it often leads to more damage than it’s worth.
Related: How To Get Over Emotional Cheating: 10 Practical Tips
Bottomline
Revenge cheating is a complex and emotional response to betrayal, but it rarely brings the closure or satisfaction people seek. Understanding the psychology behind it, recognizing the signs, and finding healthier ways to cope with infidelity can help you break free from the cycle of hurt.
Instead of seeking revenge, focusing on your own growth, healing, and happiness is a far more empowering and healthy solution.
What do you think is the best revenge on a cheater? Is revenge cheating worth it, do you think? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
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