How To Deal With An Obsessive Ex That Won’t Leave You Alone: 5 Steps You Can Take

Dealing with an obsessive ex is one of the most horrible experiences one can go through. What are the best ways to handle obsessive people? What are the effective steps you can take when it comes to dealing with an obsessive ex? Let’s find out!

There are certain people who just can’t handle being dumped. They go crazy. They hate losing their “control” and “power” over their partners.

Recently my good friend ended an abusive relationship. Thankfully he realised he was in a relationship with a narcissist and that his only way forward was without her. Soon after the relationship ended, he found a new partner — he was ecstatic, he was just about to ride off into the sunset with his sweetheart.

There was one issue — his ex flattened his tires so he was unable to drive that far.

You see, my friend’s ex was always a toxic person, she was good at manipulating and presenting herself in a different light, while she was truly something else — obsessively dangerous. Subtly she re-entered his life again, trying to cause havoc in his new stable and loving marriage.

It took her only 6 months to re-emerge from the bottom of the TAR-pit and start spreading rumours about his new wife. She has gone to their children’s school and accused my friend’s new partner of horrible things: she alleged his new partner is endangering his children and has spread rumors about her, such as her being institutionalized.

Related: 9 Tips For Co-Parenting With Your Difficult Ex

He has confronted his ex-wife on many occasions, pleading with her to let them be alone and stop using children as a tool to get back to him. Yes, he has children with his ex. However, she doesn’t want to listen — she is getting worse.

She calls him frequently, even though they agreed to only communicate via email. She intrudes into his privacy — she wishes to know what his plans are with his new wife, asking their children to spy on them and then report back to her.

His ex is highly destructive but somehow she managed to survive so far. She reminds me of a lizard—chameleon, she can adapt to any situation, she knows how to blend in and portray herself as innocent, and no one would suspect that she is a narcissist. But if you look closely enough, you can catch that snake off guard.

My friend feels threatened, but at the same time he doesn’t know what to do — he has children with his ex-wife. You see, his ex doesn’t take “NO” for an answer, but he doesn’t want to escalate things to the police.

He has asked her multiple times to stop calling him on the phone — she still calls. He asked her not to show up at his doorstep, she does anyway. Recently the camera has caught her spying on their house: her car was parked in front of his house when his new partner approached his ex — she drove off.

He asked her to limit the conversations only to issues that are related to their children; she still sends him messages and emails asking about his private life.

Lately, she has withheld children from him in order to receive a “response” from him, to cause trouble.

Obsessive ex

Who Is An Obsessive Ex?

Obsessive people are those who just can’t let go of the past — they are unable to accept that the relationship is OVER. They call, visit, argue, cling on — they are unable to “leave” their ex-partner alone. These people are unwell, they can suffer from narcissistic, borderline and other disorders.

They’re following, stalking, or threatening their ex-partner. They can even vandalize belongings, or escalate to violence. Left unaddressed, in extreme cases, tragedy can happen.

It is important to recognize this in its early stages and take action. At first, stalking might be harmless, involving actions like calling you or sending text messages. However, the obsessor may start feeling more “confident” and their behavior might worsen.

They will force communication that you don’t want.

If your ex is doing the following things, you may be a victim of an Obsessor:

  • Texting or calling you when you told them NOT to do so.
  • Showing up at your doorstep when you told them NOT to do so.
  • Giving you gifts when you told them NOT to do so.
  • Contact your family and friends and gather information about you.
  • Spreading rumors or posting information about you and your new partner.
  • Refusing to leave you alone when you have asked them to.

Related: Why Having Sex With Your Ex Is A Really Bad Idea

How Do You Protect Yourself?

When dealing with an obsessive ex, you have multiple options on how to move forward.

  • Put up with it and act as if they don’t exist — block them and cut all conversations (grey rock them).
  • Seek therapy and support from professionals.
  • Stand up to the ex and hope that they might change (which they won’t).
  • Keep a record of all nasty, unwanted incidents and report them to the police.
  • Move away and start a new life.

Whatever you choose to do, try to stick by it — don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the Obsessor might change, they might only seem to “stop” trailing you, but the truth is they are just resting, waiting for you to get comfortable so they can cause turmoil in your life when you least expect it.

Dealing with an obsessive ex

Stay strong and remember that the only way that the ex or any other person can truly bother you is when you allow them to!

Want to know more about having an obsessive people? Check this video out below!

“Join TAR Network, a 501(c)3 dedicated to supporting victims of narcissistic abuse. TAR Network is focused on the prevention and intervention of TAR – Toxic Abusive Relationships. For more information, go here. By signing up for our newsletter you will receive free resources and links to free meetings and trainings that will help you rise above Toxic Abusive Relationships “


Written By Mila  
Originally Appeared On Partners In Men's Health
obsessive people

— Share —

,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Let’s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream ‘Stay Away!’

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These aren’t just common personality flaws – these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. We’ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

What Is Child Abuse? Recognizing The Warning Signs

Child abuse and neglect is a very sensitive subject that needs to be handled with care.

One can’t really associate a state like this with just bruises. There is emotional, as well as physical exploitation. Also, for a little kid to heal or recover from it, the earlier one spots the signs of it, the better it is.

Up Next

Unlocking The Pain Of The Past: 10 Signs Of Repressed Childhood Trauma In Adults

Ever find yourself reacting strongly to situations and not quite sure why? Either you hear echoes of your past, or it’s probably because you listen to your inner child. In this article, we’re delving into the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults – those subtle whispers from your younger self that can shape your present.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

KEY POINTS

Adult temp

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. It’s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Maybe it was the feeling that something’s missing from your childhood, but you cou

Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twistin