Every relationship goes through several ups and downs once in a while, but once emotional distance creeps in, it is something to be concerned about.
Emotional distance is a sign of a major crisis in a relationship. Since every stable romantic relationship is built on the foundation of a strong emotional bond, and emotional understanding, feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner is a huge red flag.
If you only have transactional conversations with your partner (kids, work, your schedules); if your partner seems disinterested in spending one on one time with you and if both of you feel a lack of intimacy in your relationship, then chances are there is a lot of emotional distance between you two.
Emotional disconnection does not happen overnight; it gradually builds up and creates a huge void, which sometimes can be hard to overcome. There can be various reasons that lead to emotional distance in a relationship; some might be because of you and some might be because of your partner.
Related: How To Navigate The Stages of Love and Build A Healthy Relationship
5 Hints Of Emotional Distance In A Relationship
1. Isolation and lack of communication.
When your problems keep piling up without being solved, be it big or small, we refuse to share our feelings with each other. One or both of you tend to bottle your feelings up, and shut the other out, and pretend that everything is fine. Some people also end up isolating themselves from their partners and choose not to include them in anything they do. And even if they do express their feelings, it turns into an emotional outburst that involves victimization, emotional blackmail, and a sense of contempt.
Everything slowly turns toxic, and even the smallest and innocuous things lead to huge fights, and then it reaches a point when staying in the same room together can seem like a challenge. Lack of communication also serves as a big reason for boredom, silence, and an overall disinterest in being together.
2. Excessive criticism and withdrawal.
When your partner is always criticizing you for the smallest of things, then chances are that they are not feeling that emotional connection with you like before. People in healthy relationships also have differences in opinion, but instead of indulging in ad hominem attacks, they choose to sit down and sort everything out without putting the other person down. The same, however, cannot be said for relationships where emotional distance has crept in.
Feeling emotionally distant and disconnected from your partner can make you feel angry and irritated with whatever they do. Nothing they do is good enough, and you haven’t felt genuinely happy in a very long time. When one person criticizes the other constantly, it makes them withdraw into themselves because they start feeling apprehensive about saying anything that might cause their partner to insult them more.
3. Lack of emotional and physical intimacy.
Emotional and physical intimacy are two of the most important things in a relationship, without which it is doomed. And a lack of these two things can steadily lead to emotional distance between you and your partner. Intimacy is something that should always be worked on, and the moment you start neglecting it, it can lead to a flurry of problems in your relationship.
A lack of intimacy can ruin healthy communication, sexual desire, compatibility, and trust. If both of you do not feel emotionally drawn to each other, how is the relationship going to work at all? There will come a point when intimacy will start to make you feel uneasy, and gradually you will only start paying attention to all the things that both of you feel are wrong with the relationship.
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4. Conflicting love languages.
Love languages explain how we prefer to express and receive love to and from our romantic partner. Every person has their own way of expressing their love in a relationship. While some couples have similar love languages, and they complement each other quite well, there are also some couples whose love languages are starkly different, and this makes it difficult for them to connect with each other. While one person might feel happy with quality time, their partners might prefer physical touch.
Minor dissimilarities are acceptable in relationships, but if there is nothing that you both like to do together, then that spells trouble. In order to build a healthy and secure relationship, there has to be some kind of common ground, without which you might end up feeling emotionally dissatisfied and distant from your partner.
5. Different emotional needs.
Just like having conflicting love languages can lead to problems in your relationship, having dissimilar emotional needs can also wreak havoc. No matter how much two people love each other, everyone is different, and their way of processing emotions is also different. When a couple fails to acknowledge and respect these differences, it causes a lot of emotional distance in their relationship.
Your partner might be someone who likes their personal space and needs ample amounts of alone time to be happy, while you are someone who wants to spend quality time. When both of you clash with each other due to this, it builds up to be a huge problem. Your partner might end up considering you clingy, and you might end up thinking they are too distant, and that they don’t love you. You see the problem here? This leads to a poisonous cycle that ultimately leads to a lot of distance between you two.
Love is not a bed of roses, nor will it ever be, and it does have its challenges. But does that mean you will give up on such beautiful things like love, and relationships altogether? If your answer is no, then you can still salvage your relationship, if the emotional distance is threatening to destroy it.
Related: How To Tell If You’re In A Healthy Relationship (When You’ve Never Had One Before)
Have faith in yourself, your partner, and your relationship, and work towards instilling positivity and a whole lot of love in it. You will end up with something so beautiful!
If you want to know more about emotional distance, then check this video out below:
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