Love Is Something That You Do, Not Something That You Feel

 / 

When love is a verb that youโ€™re living, it becomes your entire state of being.

Feeling (noun): an emotional state or reaction. A feeling may be a noun, but love done right is a verb.

ย 

What is love? Being in love is holding hands and hugging hard. Itโ€™s fighting over stupid things, saying things you donโ€™t mean and then apologizing. Itโ€™s drinking too much and lying down on the damp ground, shoulders touching, stars dancing dizzily above you.

ย 

Itโ€™s saying โ€œI love youโ€ for the first time, the words bursting out of you in a single breath, inhaling their โ€œI love you, tooโ€ in return. Itโ€™s spending Christmas with his family and Thanksgiving with hers, even if neither one of you is really comfortable doing that yet.

ย 

Love is learning the art of truly listening and avoiding the temptation of simply waiting for your turn to talk. Itโ€™s making space for somebody to be their best selves. Itโ€™s leaving the last slice of pizza and the last piece of cake.

ย 

Itโ€™s attempting to make his momโ€™s chicken noodle soup instead of warming up a can of Campbellโ€™s in the microwave. Itโ€™s baking her a lopsided birthday cake with drippy frosting instead of buying one at the grocery store.

Love is holding her in her sleep, even though youโ€™re burning up because her body retains heat like a moving furnace. Itโ€™s eating really weird food when sheโ€™s on a diet and not making any faces until she turns her back.

Itโ€™s pretending that you donโ€™t mind kissing him when he straight up tastes like a garlic clove. Itโ€™s remembering that forgiveness is a daily practice and grace a lifelong work in progress. Itโ€™s infrequently ordering flowers, but frequently giving back rubs and foot massages.

ย 

Love is moonlit walks on the beach but itโ€™s also long walking down even longer hospital corridors, each step lonelier than the last. Itโ€™s shaving her head when she canโ€™t bear to see all that hair on her pillows, in her brush, collected in the shower drain. Itโ€™s forgetting how to be squeamish around blood, learning how to change IV lines, and developing a second sense about when to pass the puke bucket.

ย 

Itโ€™s reassuring him itโ€™s OK to move on, to meet somebody new, because if he mopes around for too long once youโ€™re gone youโ€™ll give him a ghostly kick in the ass. Itโ€™s finding memories in the way her pillowcase smells when you press your face into it.

ย 

Love is saying a hundred hellos and a thousand goodbyes. Itโ€™s an exercise in self-restraint and self-respect. Itโ€™s breaking down boundaries in the best possible ways but never abandoning the posts you have stationed along the tender lines of your heart.

ย 

Itโ€™s always having a plan but never living by your expectations. Itโ€™s opening up your chest and letting another person climb inside, and trusting them to be a good tenant.

ย 

What is love? Well, love is never just a noun, just a feeling. Itโ€™s always shifting, changing, morphing, moving. Itโ€™s a painting with endless brushstrokes, a pottery wheel that never stops spinning. The truest love packs as much action as a superhero movie into one minute of bodies melting into each other like warm butter.

ย 

This is what we should be searching for, why we shouldnโ€™t settle, why itโ€™s worth every second you ache for a soulmate before you find one. When love is a verb that youโ€™re living, it becomes your entire state of being.


Written byย Cassie Fox

Originally appeared on Yourtango.com

You may also like

26 Little Lessons I Learned About Love From Relationships Without A Label

The Impact of First Love on Your Life and Future Relationships

The Number of Times You Will Fall In Love During Your Lifetime

If You Donโ€™t Feel These 12 Things with Your Partner, It Isnโ€™t Real, True Love

Love Is Something That You Do, Not Something That You Feel

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: How Your ADHD/Autistic Partner Shows Love

Neurodivergent Love Languages

All minds are not wired the same way to express and show love. For those on the autism spectrum or with ADHD, affection might look a bit different. Below are five neurodivergent love languages to help you understand love from a different perspective!

We know about Gary Chapmanโ€™s The Five Love Languages, but these languages arenโ€™t designed for neurodiverse individuals โ€“ who express care and affection differently. Sometimes their loved ones donโ€™t recognize how they share their feelings, or why they act like they do.

So, letโ€™s take a look at ADHD and autistic love languages, which might take on different forms to show how they like to receive affection.

Up Next

Complacency: The Silent Killer Of Relationships

How Complacency Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship

Has your relationship slipped into complacency? When comfort leads to blurred boundaries, itโ€™s time to reignite the spark. Learn how to refresh your connection together!

Can being too comfortable in a relationship lead to the end?

Key points

Complacency can happen over time in relationships.

Becoming too comfortable leads to blurred boundaries.

There are ways to refresh a relationship if complacency sets in.

Up Next

10 Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy: Why Sheโ€™s the Best Girlfriend Youโ€™ll Ever Have

Surprising Perks of Dating a Tomboy

Dating a tomboy brings an exciting mix of fun, friendship, and romance. When youโ€™re dating a tomboy, youโ€™re in for a relationship thatโ€™s refreshingly different. Sheโ€™s someone whoโ€™s down-to-earth, ready for adventure, and brings out the best in everyone around her.

From shared hobbies to spontaneous plans, being with her is all about enjoying life without pretenses or drama.

If youโ€™re curious about what makes her such an amazing partner, here are 10 surprising perks that prove dating a tomboy might just be the best decision youโ€™ll ever make!

Related: 10 Things You Need To Know If Yo

Up Next

How Playfulness Can Transform Your Love Life

How Playfulness In A Relationship Can Transform Your Love Life

Is your relationship feeling stale or distant? Wondering how to reignite the spark? Discover how bringing playfulness into your love life can create deeper connections and renewed passion.

Looking to revive a dying flame? Try the power of play.

Key points

The four types of relationship playfulness are other-directed, intellectual, whimsical, and lightheartedness.

Other-directed and intellectual are the most highly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

All types of playfulness are related to at least some facet of relationship well-being.

Up Next

7 Types Of Intimacy To Deepen Your Relationship

Ever wondered how to deepen your bond with your partner? Learning these 7 different types of intimacy in a relationship that can bring you closer in meaningful ways. Try it out now!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Intimacy is important, but how do we cultivate it?

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

For some people love doesnโ€™t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So hereโ€™s pebbling love language โ€“ inspired by penguins. Letโ€™s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

What I

Up Next

Can TikTokโ€™s โ€˜Meeting Someone Twice Theoryโ€™ Really Lead To Love?

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory โ€“ is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

So letโ€™s learn how the universe