Are you trying too hard to get him to like you? Are you scaring men away, and donโt even realize it? Sometimes, no matter how heartfelt and genuine your efforts might be, some of them can end up making you look desperate in the eyes of men, and drive them away. ย
When you meet a new guy you really like and feel major attraction to, itโs easy to wonder if he feels the same way. But in your eagerness to learn how to get this guy to like you, or to make him chase you, you might be appearing desperate and pushing him away.
Signs of attraction between people arenโt always obvious, and each approach the relationship with different goals in mind. But if youโre acting out of desperation that youโre going to โloseโ the guy you like, you might be the reason your relationship isnโt going anywhere.
Think youโre just being โfriendlyโ by sending him a flirty text or baking him a birthday cake? Truth is, youโre probably doing more harm than good and pushing him away instead.
When you find yourself falling for a man, itโs normal to start feeling that if you donโt show enough interest in him he might get the wrong message and drift away. You want to make sure he knows you like him, but you need to do it without going overboard and making yourself look desperate.
Related: 11 Mistakes Stopping You From Finding The Oneย (and What To Do About It)ย ย
Here are 3 dating and relationship mistakes that make women look desperate and donโt get a guy to like them โ but chase men away.
1. Always initiating contact with him.
When heโs always on your mind, itโs natural to want to let him know it. But if you find yourself doing any of the following more often than he does, itโs a red flag:
1. Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to.
2. Calling to ask why he hasnโt called you.
3. E-mailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
4. Asking him how he feels โ especially asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.
5. Inviting him to come and join you, or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.
At first glance, these actions might seem completely harmless. In fact, you may feel that heโll just see you as being friendly, maybe even take it as a compliment, and want to get closer to you. But doing any of these things shifts you into masculine energy which could actually be scaring him away.
2. Letting insecurity drive your interaction.
At best, when a man feels even a little bit pursued, heโll feel he doesnโt have to work so hard to win you over and will immediately drop his efforts. At worse, heโll start to feel more than just โpursued.โ
If you keep checking in with him in all those friendly little ways that are really about getting the reassurance you need, heโll start to get that โchasedโ feeling. And then heโll do what anyone would do when feeling crowded, smothered, or pressured โ heโll start moving away from you.
Whether you realize it or not, the urge to do all of these friendly things comes from just one place โ your fear of losing a man by failing to let him know youโre interested in him. But you couldnโt be more wrong. By giving in to this fear, youโre in worse danger of scaring a man off for good.
This type of โchasingโ behavior is like an alarm going off for a man. It not only sends him the message that youโre insecure in yourself, but it also sends him in an overly aggressive vibe that makes him feel very uncomfortable, even trapped.
To say the least, all of this makes you less attractive to him and makes sure he wonโt feel inspired to explore getting closer. After all, youโre interfering with his chance to learn how he feels about the โrealโ you, so sooner or later heโll lose interest โฆ and then start looking for a chance to escape.
So, whatโs the answer to bringing a man closer with your words and actions instead of driving him further away?
Related: 5 Critical Love Lessons Most Women Learn Way Too Late
3. Not letting him have space to meet the real you.
I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man take the lead. You want him to know youโre interested in him. You want to make it easy for him to ask you out again. You want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing.
But the only way to really make sure that a man feels inspired to do everything in his power to get closer to you is to make sure that he feels happy and good around you.
Whatโs the best way to do it?
Give him the breathing space and the opportunities he needs to start pleasing you. As long as you seem happy and show him how much you enjoy his company, a man will always keep coming back for more.
Best of all, when he sees that you are a woman who is secure in herself and doesnโt need to pursue him, heโll step up his game to make sure another man doesnโt beat him to the chase!
So let him take the lead while you continue to be receptive to him. It will powerfully fuel his passion for you.
He will adore you and appreciate you for it, and youโll be able to relax in the knowledge that you have become that rare, irresistible, highly desirable creature heโs been looking for โ and that heโd be a fool to take you for granted.
Written by Rori Raye Originally Published on Yourtango
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