“Just do this and just do that, and you will be fine. Everything will be fine. Don’t worry, be happy!”. How many times have you been on the receiving end of this useless piece of advice, when you might be going through a miserable and tough time? And this piece of eye-opening and golden advice not only solved your problem but changed your life too. Right? Wrong!
The moment the word ‘just’ is used to impart advice, it destroys the motive of the entire suggestion. There is no point trying to look smarter and show wisdom which someone doesn’t really have in the first place. There is no point shelling out useless advice that will not help better someone’s situation in any way at all.
Here Are 8 Pieces of Useless Advice That Are An Absolute Waste Of Time
1. “You should just let it go.”
Yes, it is just easy and convenient to do, right? This advice can be a little bit useful when unimportant or minor things are concerned, like buying a ridiculously overpriced dress or splurging on a gold plate. But when you are going through something really painful, like being in a toxic relationship, doing a job that you hate, major family problems, etc. then this advice can feel like rubbing salt on your wounds.
You cannot just expect to go with the flow and accept all the negativity with a smile on your face; after a point it will end up messing with your mental health. So, the next time someone says this to you, do not take their advice, and do what you think will make you feel better and make the negative situation you are in better. After all, it’s your life, and your happiness should matter the most.
2. “Some people have it worse than you.”
The good old advice, and an absolutely useless one at that. If you are being asked to depreciate your painful experiences to feel better, then that is one of the worst things you can do to yourself; you cannot take yourself and your pain for granted. Your pain and troubles deserve to be acknowledged and respected. There will always be people out there who will be in a worse situation than you, but that does not mean you will never prioritize yourself and feel bad about your difficulties.
Yes, you should be appreciative and grateful for what you have, as not a lot of people might have those things. But never put yourself down or shut yourself up just because some people think you should ignore your suffering.
Related: 9 Steps That’ll Help You Love Yourself Better
3. “Learn to deal with it.”
This is probably one of the most apathetic things you can say to a person. Telling you to deal with it instead of trying to support you or trying to understand what you are going through is one of the most damaging things one can experience. It’s not always that easy to just forget and move on from painful things; every human being deserves to have emotional understanding and support in their lives.
If you are being subjected to this useless piece of advice, then it’s better to ignore them and think about what you need to do to handle the situation better. People who spew such dialogues can never be your well-wishers.
4. “What’s the point? Just forget about it!”
Ah, the million-dollar advice! As if forgetting about it is that easy. If someone tells you to forget about it, after you have opened yourself up and bared your heart out, then steer clear of that person. Telling someone to ‘just forget about it’ is the epitome of insensitivity. Forgetting pain, and trauma is an incredibly difficult thing to do, and people who don’t understand that, do not deserve to be a part of your life
Yes, letting pain fester in yourself and clinging on to it is not ideal, but you deserve to have the time and space needed to deal with it. You should not be pushed and pressured to ‘just forget about it’.
5. “Since you can’t change it, get used to it.”
Say this to someone who is stuck in an abusive marriage and is physically and emotionally abused every day. Say this to someone who just lost their parents, and has nobody else in this world to call their own. Saying something as insensitive and callous as this takes only 5 seconds, but the impact it has on the recipient is enormous.
If you are in a bad situation, you do not need to get used to it. If you are in a toxic situation, you do not need to get used to it. And most importantly, you should remove all those people from your life who advocate this kind of ideology.
6. “Indulge in some retail therapy.”
Shopping can only serve as a temporary distraction from your problems. It might make you feel better for a few minutes or a few hours, but it is not going to solve the problem at hand. But, this is not to say that you don’t deserve to pamper yourself, you do by all means. Just don’t think that a few hours of retail therapy will make you feel better in the long run.
Related: Toxic Friends: 10 Signs Of An Unhealthy Friendship
7. “Just cheer up!”
No, it’s not that easy to ‘just cheer up’, just because you said it, Ryan! If you are in a bad mood, you don’t need people giving you a useless piece of advice such as this. What you are going through, only you know. The important thing is, others do not need to understand entirely what you are feeling, they just need to be there for you and support you a little bit.
Asking someone to cheer up because their pain is proving to be an inconvenience is honestly one of the most despicable things to even think about. So, the next time someone tells you to ‘just cheer up’, shut them down.
8. “You should try to be more positive.”
If you are someone who suffers from depression and tries their level best to not let it control your life, this can be a slap to your face. And you don’t even need to be a depressed person for this to be wrong. Telling someone to be positive when they are in a bad place in their life, is not right, and never will be.
It can be enormously frustrating to be told be to be positive, as this indicates the advisor’s lack of understanding and empathy about your struggles and setbacks.
If you have ever been subjected to even one of these useless pieces of advice, then you know how horrible it feels. But the silver lining here is that you will know who genuinely wants to help you and take care of you, and who doesn’t. Use this as an opportunity to keep good people in your life, and remove the uncaring, toxic ones.
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