Disrespect in a relationship is a silent killer, that erodes your relationship gradually, and before you know it, it has ruined it for good. No matter how ‘perfect’ of a relationship you might have, disrespect alone can destroy relationships, and get it to such a point that it becomes impossible to come back from it.
If you are asked to pen down 3 important ingredients of a successful relationship, what would you include in it? Most probably, ‘love’, ‘understanding’ and ‘communication’ or maybe ‘love’, ‘acceptance’,and ‘trust’. Love will surely top the charts but how many of you would include ‘respect’ in it?
I fear, only a few of you would.
Even when so much of a relationship hinges on respect, but we never really focus on its significance to change the entire chemistry of a relationship.
There are several relationships that are spiraling down the wrong way because the partners consistently function on disrespecting each other.
Doesn’t respect come as an obvious complement in a relationship? We like to believe so. But no, love is not synonymous with respect.
Love is, “I need you. I want you to be happy.”
Respect is, “I look up to you. I value your words and opinions.”
Even though respecting looks like an easy task to accomplish but you will frequently see couples eroding each other, often actively participating in disrespecting each other.
Related: 25 Ways You Can Show Respect to Your Partner
6 Subtle Forms of Disrespect in relationships
1. In the form of derogatory comments to belittle your partner like you are having a dinner date with your partner and friends, and suddenly you make a comment on your partner’s behavior like, “Please ignore his crazy antics!”
2. Being inconsiderate of their opinions, like, “I have decided what to do about my future. Please don’t comment on what you have no idea about.”
3. Questioning their potential, like, “Are you sure you can do this? Think again.”
4. Subtle body language which shows indifference like rolling your eyes, grimacing at something your partner said which you don’t agree with, dismissing something your partner said with a sway of your hand, breathing deeply as if you are containing your anger and contempt at your partner.
5. Constantly sticking your face into the phone, even when conversing with your partner.
6. A partner who constantly compliments other people but is indifferent to all forms of positive qualities their partner has.
Respecting takes us the ability to look for the qualities, capabilities in our partner, and adore, admire them for that. Respect in a relationship is the pedestal you put your partner on because you accept the person as they are. Respecting also means being able to look up to, get inspired, and encouraged by your partner’s qualities.
You believe it or not when a person you love so much, admires you, lifts you up, and appreciates you for who you are, rather than pulling you down for what you are not, you feel complete. Half of the attraction works when the other person honors, values and considers you more than anything else.
Related: 25 Ways To Give and Get Respect in Your Relationship
Even though disrespecting doesn’t have any immediate impact on the relationship, other than an argument or two, but over time it breeds contempt. Gradually resentments start growing into grudges and the intense passion is replaced by toxic connection.
Once a relationship is sabotaged, it often gets difficult to save it. You no longer have the trust in your partner that you once have. There is always sheathing anger rising in you every time you face your disrespecting partner.
The feelings are no more that of love and adoration, it turns to a cycle of finger-pointing and complaining session.
If you don’t want your relationship to materialize into a failure, bring back the fire of romance in your relationship with the following tips to respect your partner in a relationship.
Here Are 3 Tips For Staying Away From Disrespect In A Relationship
1. Walk the talk.
Are you keeping all the promises you do? Or are they just hanging on as empty words? If you say something to make sure you do it or else never say it.
Nothing screams disrespect louder than putting someone on a high pedestal of expectations and pushing them down from there in the blink of an eye.
This means that you don’t value the presence of your partner in your life. Once your partner comes to realize that there is no value attached to him/her, they will start distancing themselves.
2. Show your efforts in other aspects of your life.
When your partner understands that you are giving the efforts in other aspects of your life- professional, familial life and in friends circle, he/she starts respecting you. Never dodge the execution of a plan, or facing challenging situations, or taking responsibilities under control.
These small efforts speak more than anything. They will slowly start trusting in your ability to take accounts of everything about you both. Respect in a relationship is a two-way gate. Once you earn that respect from your partner, he/she will also start to respect you.
Related: 4 Ways To Restore Respect in a Relationship
3. Don’t avoid confrontation.
You can avoid conflicts today, tomorrow, or even for weeks, but the situation won’t get better by itself. If you really want the relationship to work out, sit down for a hard conversation.
Remove blockages, walls between you both and discuss both of your boundaries, insecurities, values, and outlook towards life. Be patient with each other. Don’t be afraid to fight both of your needs in the relationship. A relationship requires you both to give mutual efforts, to be teamwork to fight negativity, and not fight with each other.
The common enemy is toxicity, which when fought by you both, can bring mental peace and sunshine.
Disrespect for your partner kills his/her sense of self-esteem, his/her autonomy and drags the relationship towards pain and suffering. To respect your partner means to treat him/her carefully, tenderly and considerately.
It is not so difficult to respect the other person when you genuinely care for their personal growth.
Remember, real love is not based on romance, candlelight dinner. It is based on respect, compromise, care, and trust.
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