The Signs Doing An Assignment That’s Due The Next Day
Aries: Screaming, throwing books everywhere, ingesting inhuman amounts of coffee, slamming doors, ripping papers, tossing phone in toilet.
Taurus: Can’t start until they’ve had a snack, nap, shower, break, and then they sit down. And they don’t stand up until they are done.
Gemini: Hysterical laughter, is in denial, writes the most epic bullshit ever, has a meltdown at 3 am, suffers from loss of identity and motivation.
Cancer: Intense crying on laptop keyboard, the laptop malfunctions, electrocutes them, and all of work has been erased off the face of the work. Turns in doctor’s note.
Leo: Lies to themselves, says they have plenty of time. Says they’ll start at 7, and when they check the time, its 7: 03. Now they have to wait until 8. Damn it.
Virgo: Begins writing a bunch of drafts, is never satisfied, pulls an all-nighter, has three panic attacks, but turns in a pretty decent assignment.
Libra: Instead of starting, does elaborate research on how to fake sick, comes up with a million extrases, and practices executing them in the mirror.
Scorpio: Hates themselves extensively, cries through half of the paper, uses caps locks aggressively, blogs about how much they hate themselves and their life.
Sagittarius: Cannot seem start, calls all of their friends and ends up paying someone to do the assignment for them. Plan flops miserably, skips school.
Capricorn: Loathes themselves, cries in the shower, then gets down to business. Thinks they’II fail, gets an A. We hate them.
Aquarius: Actually performs best under pressure. Has a game plan, perfectly executes it, goes to sleep at 1:30 a.m. Can’t sleep because they’re wired.
Pisces: Has three months to do the assignment, spends the day before coming up with excuses why they shouldn’t do it, skips school.
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