The 3 Secret Behaviors Of Narcissists

Ever felt manipulated and drained after talking to someone? Uncover the secret behaviors of narcissists as we explore warning symptoms that reveal their true nature!

Narcissistsโ€™ entire personality is a defense to help them manage their hidden insecurity and inner turmoil. There are three secret behaviors they do that arenโ€™t immediately obvious, but if you think about them, they would make sense to you and explain their manifest behavior.

These behaviors stem from core symptoms of narcissism, especially their lack of empathy and grandiosity, and also arrogance.

Itโ€™s important in understanding narcissists to realize that their brain works differently and that they see the world much differently. Donโ€™t compare them to yourself.

behaviors of narcissists

Read more here: Healing Narcissism: Is There A Cure For Narcissism?

What Are Narcissist Behaviors? 3 Secret Behaviors Of Narcissists To Watch Out For

1. A Hierarchical Existence

Having power is the primary preoccupation of a narcissist. In their mind, having control and being on top keep them safe. They canโ€™t conceive of equal relationships and avoid environments where that is the expectation. To them, everyone is a predator or prey. They must be in charge or will be eaten.

Thus, in every situation, theyโ€™re always assessing whoโ€™s on top, and try to be him or her. They use impression management to do this. They start with bragging and flattery, but when that doesnโ€™t work, they try more aggressive tactics, such as belittling, manipulating, backstabbing, or cheating other people, or taking credit for their work.

2. Feelings Donโ€™t Matter

If youโ€™re not familiar personally with a narcissist, you might take what they say and do at face value. You might think theyโ€™re caring and generous because they give you a gift, or that they respect you because they compliment you.

However, those close to a narcissist frequently question the sincerity of the narcissist in their life when they act as if they care about your feelings. They suspect ulterior motives, manipulation, and selfishness.

The fact is that many narcissists fake their feelings, because they donโ€™t authentically know how to respond. They donโ€™t see other people as individuals separate from themselves, nor have natural empathy. They never want to discuss feelings, particularly vulnerable ones.

Hidden Secret Behaviors Of Narcissists

They never want to discuss feelings, particularly vulnerable ones. They learn how to respond by observation or manufacture feelings and responses to provoke a certain reaction in someone else.

Even in the rare case that they might apologize for past behavior, they soon repeat the abuse or blame you for it without remorse or recognition of any contradiction. If you point it out, they might use DARVO or just blame you as if they never owned up to it before.

3. They Hide Their Shame

Although narcissists feel grandiose and better than everyone else, they donโ€™t love themselves. Underneath they worry theyโ€™re not enough or that theyโ€™re making mistakes. They may not be conscious of this underlying shame, just as many people are not, even though they may claim to have healthy self-esteem.

Yet even when they do admit their insecurities to themselves or someone else, they donโ€™t see the contradiction between that and their grandiosity.

They may judge themselves for a bad decision or doing something foolish because theyโ€™re โ€œso smart โ€“โ€œHow could I do that?โ€ The part of themselves that feels insecure is split off from the part of themselves that feels grandiose and superior. They then project aspects of themselves that they canโ€™t accept onto others whom they disparage.

Learn more about the underlying features of narcissism, what motivates narcissistsโ€™ behavior, and explicit suggestions and strategies on how to respond to it effectively in โ€œDating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships.โ€

Read more here: The Many Faces Of Narcissism: Exploring The 3 Types Of Narcissists

If youโ€™ve encountered someone displaying symptoms of narcissism, even if they appear normal, itโ€™s crucial to establish boundaries. Remember, a secret narcissist is still a narcissist in the end!

ยฉ Darlene Lancer 2023


Written by: Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT
Originally appeared on: whatiscodependency.com

behaviors of narcissists

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Narcissistic Deflection: 10 Sneaky Ways They Spin the Truth to Fool You

Narcissistic Deflection Ways They Spin the Truth to Fool You

Narcissistic deflection is a sneaky tactic narcissists use to dodge responsibility and turn the tables when they’re caught in a lie or confronted about their behavior. If you’ve ever felt like youโ€™re stuck in a conversation where your issues get twisted or ignored, chances are you’re dealing with narcissistic deflection.

Itโ€™s a mind game that can leave you questioning everything. But donโ€™t worryโ€”once you know how to spot it, you can stop them from pulling the wool over your eyes.

Today, we are going to talk about deflection tactics used by narcissists, what is the meaning of deflection and why do narcissists deflect in the first place.

Let’s start with trying to understand the meaning of deflection.

Up Next

How to Respond to a Manipulative Apology: 7 Ways You Can Turn the Tables on Emotional Manipulation

Ways to Handle a Manipulative Apology

Manipulative apologies are tricky; they sound like remorse but actually aim to shift blame, guilt-trip, or control the situation. Learning how to respond to a manipulative apology is crucial to maintaining emotional balance and protecting your well-being.

Always remember that apology without change is manipulative, and the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you and emotional well-being.

Letโ€™s dive into what is a manipulative apology, how does a narcissist apologize and how to respond to a manipulative apology, so that you can handle these situations with confidence, and not get caught in an emotional trap.

Related:

Up Next

9 Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream โ€˜Stay Away!โ€™

Malignant Narcissist Traits That Scream Stay Away

Ever met someone who just seemed a little too… intense? Maybe they needed control, demanded admiration, or seemed to enjoy making others uncomfortable? These arenโ€™t just common personality flaws โ€“ these are actually malignant narcissist traits.

Spotting these traits can help you steer clear of the emotional roller coaster that follows such people around. Weโ€™ll dive into exactly what is a malignant narcissist, the warning signs to watch out for, and how to deal with a malignant narcissist.

So, let’s get started shall we? We will begin with what is a malignant narcissist.

Related:

Up Next

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 9 Ways to Flip the Script

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

So, youโ€™re ready to learn how to make a narcissist miserable? Letโ€™s be real โ€“ dealing with one can feel like youโ€™re stuck in a never-ending soap opera, where theyโ€™re the star, and youโ€™re theโ€ฆ well, supporting character.

But guess what? You donโ€™t have to play along! Narcissists live off attention, praise, and control, so what if you start flipping the script?

The goal here isnโ€™t revenge but taking back your power. Today we are going to talk about how to hurt a narcissist where it hurts, and what to say to a narcissist to make them feel bad.

Related: Tired of Ent

Up Next

Tired of Entitled People? 8 Clever Ways to Keep Your Cool

Ways to Keep Your Cool

Entitled peopleโ€”theyโ€™re everywhere, and dealing with them can be downright draining. Whether itโ€™s at work, among friends, or even family, you may find yourself constantly bumping into people who seem to think the world revolves around them.

But handling them without losing your cool? Thatโ€™s the real trick. From understanding the entitlement mentality to recognizing the signs of an entitled person and learning how to deal with entitled people, this guide will help you navigate these tricky interactions without letting frustration take over.

Letโ€™s dive in and uncover some clever, calming strategies for managing the entitled in your life.

First, let’s try to understand what it means to have a sense of entitlement.

Up Next

Why Is Narcissism On The Rise? The Shocking Connection to the Wetiko Mindset!

Why Is Narcissism On The Rise Wetiko

Why is narcissism on the rise? It seems like everywhere we look, we find more people focused on themselves, seeking constant admiration, and lacking empathy.

While many chalk it up to social media or a โ€œme-firstโ€ culture, thereโ€™s an ancient concept that might hold deeper answers: the Wetiko mindset.

Rooted in Indigenous teachings, Wetiko represents a mindset of self-centeredness, greed, and disconnection, which eerily aligns with modern narcissism.

By exploring this concept, we can uncover why there’s a rise in narcissism and how we can address it. Read on to know more about this mindset and what it means.

Related:

Up Next

Weaponized Incompetence: 7 Ways Narcissists Manipulate You With This Stealthy Trick

Weaponized Incompetence Narcissists Manipulate You

“Weaponized incompetence” might sound like a complex term, but you’ve probably experienced it at some point. Imagine dealing with someone who magically โ€œforgetsโ€ how to do something just to avoid doing it, leaving you with all the work.

This manipulative trick is often used by narcissists to get out of responsibilities while making you feel overly critical or even guilty. In relationships, whether personal or professional, itโ€™s a stealthy tactic that can leave you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Today, we are going to talk about what is weaponized incompetence, the signs of weaponized incompetence and how to deal with weaponized incompetence. So, ready to know more about this?

Let’s start with what is weaponized incompetence.