Why we fall in love with someone may be a mystery, but why we stay together for years is a lot less mystifying. The attraction may happen instantly, but love is something we need to keep working at. Let’s take a look at the most important qualities that keep married couples together for the long haul.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin
These couples will get through any challenging situation.
Every couple wants to have a healthy relationship so their marriage will last. It turns out if you both have certain personality traits, your chances are much higher.
If you’ve read up on a lot of relationship advice, you realize that there has always been a debate about whether it’s good to marry someone who’s totally the opposite of you versus someone who has a similar personality.
In reality, the essence of your and your partner’s personalities don’t really matter in relationships.
Related: How To Build A Happy Marriage Rooted In Couple Traditions
Married life is not easy and if you and your spouse have been together for a long while, you already know this. Love is not the only thing that keeps healthy relationships going.
I’ve seen couples who are similar to each other and couples who are complete opposites have successful lasting relationships and marriages.
In each relationship, these 7 personality traits are vital and a couple that has them will have a healthy relationship — and long-lasting marriage.
7 Most Important Qualities That Keep Married Couples Together For The Long Haul
1. Acceptance
“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” – Diane Sawyer
It’s critical to understand and accept the personality of your spouse because not all of them will be positive traits.
Your marriage will deteriorate quickly when you feel compelled to change your spouse, especially since the essence of who they are was the reason why you married them in the first place.
According to Michelle Brody, Ph.D. and author of Stop the Fight – How to Break Free From the 12 Most Common Arguments, not accepting your partner’s personality and trying to change them can be very tricky.
The reason is that we don’t like to be told we’re wrong and feel personally attacked when our partner criticizes who we are.
Loving your spouse without judging them is the building block to a long, lasting marriage.
2. Couples Commitment
When you are committed, you are telling your partner that you are emotionally bonded to each other.
You plan to stay married, not due to necessity or out of obligation, but because you see yourselves a team and have made the choice to do whatever it takes to stay together.
3. Trust
Each partner not only needs to feel the other will be there for them, but also that their thoughts and opinion will be valued as well. Have you ever met a happily married couple where one spouse made all the decisions?
Part of listening and trusting your partner is important to accept their personality.
Related: 10 Simple Things That Will Strengthen Your Marriage
4. Honesty
Having the ability to be open about your feelings is very paramount to having a lasting healthy relationship. We have a tendency to not be honest with our feelings because we do know our partner’s personality our advice, or opinion will not be received well.
You still have to communicate your feelings in order to be true to yourself, but say it in a different way so your partner will receive it.
5. Forgiveness
“A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham
Having a forgiving heart in a relationship is an important personality trait. When you have two individuals that come into a marriage, there are going to be misunderstandings, mistakes, and even fights.
The ability to forgive will help you maintain your relationship over the long haul.
6. Appreciation
If you think about the totality of your life, getting married is simply a small part of it. Appreciating who your partner is and what they bring to the team helps marriages last.
Related: 5 Everyday Things You Can Do To Keep Your Relationship Healthy
7. Sense of humor
It’s good to be able to laugh at your partner’s differences. Having a good sense of humor not only will make things interesting and help you defuse tense situations, but it’s also a way for a couple to get through difficult times together.
Wouldn’t you rather your relationship be remembered for the fun, happy moments of your relationship, or the sad, angry ones?
In the end, whether you’re similar or opposite, having these 7 key personality traits will help your marriage.
Written By Keith Dent Originally Appeared On YourTango
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