What The Zodiac Signs Do When Nobody’s Looking
When nobody’s looking
ARIES: Stuffs their pockets with wasabi peas from the bulk foods aisle
TAURUS: Picks their nose because the tissue box is across the room
GEMINI: Googles the answers to the crossword
CANCER: Circles the bed on all fours before settling into a comfy position
LEO: Pretends they’re hosting a cooking show while microwaving a limp quesadilla
VIRGO: Puts on their favorite pair of threadbare sweatpants for the ninth day in a row
LIBRA: Practices their orgasm face
SCORPIO: Sneaks into the forest to bury their old diaries
SAGITTARIUS: Meets up with the ex they swear they don’t talk to anymore
CAPRICORN: Reenacts an argument they lost but just came up with the perfect comeback for
AQUARIUS: Tears up at heartwarming commercials
PISCES: Attempts to communicate with aliens via meditation
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