Do you feel like you are in a different place in your life, compared to your friends? And do you get that persistent feeling that you are outgrowing your friends? It happens to the best of us.
With time and age, we all grow and change, and sometimes that means outgrowing the friendships you once held dear. The feeling of outgrowing your friends can be a bittersweet realization, filled with both nostalgia and the excitement of new beginnings.
If youโre wondering whether youโre going through this transformative process, look out for these eight signs of outgrowing a friendship.
Related: Making Adult Friends Is Hard: Here Are 40 Reasons Why
8 Possible Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends
1. Your friendship is stuck in the past.
Whenever you are hanging out with your friends, do you only talk about the old times? Are all your conversations just trips down memory lane? If the only thing you do is reminisce whenever you are together, then itโs very clear that itโs the past thatโs holding you together.
Genuine friendships adapt and grow as time passes. Even though you may change individually, but you should also progress as friends. If you feel youโre not, then maybe you should think about moving forward. Itโs great to look back on the good old days sometimes, but friendship needs more to keep going.
2. You avoid their calls and texts.
You still care for them, but whatโs important to you has changed, and that happens. Outgrowing your friends can mean they no longer fit into your life the way they once did, and spending time and energy on them may not make sense anymore.
Back in the day, hanging out with them was different. But now, not so much. When you dodge their calls or turn down plans, ask yourself whatโs really bugging you. Is it the hangout ideas or the people?
If itโs only what you do together that bugs you, maybe you guys can strike a deal. But if being around your friends doesnโt feel good anymore, it might be one of the signs of outgrowing a friendship.
3. You donโt like who you are around them.
This is one of the major signs you are outgrowing your friends.
You might have a friend who likes to hold on to how things were, and they expect you to act in the same way, or you fake your persona from back in the day just to keep them happy. Perhaps they pressure you to live like the old days when partying was your jam, all the while ignoring that your life and you have changed.
Hanging out with them could mean you start acting in ways that just doesnโt match up with who you are. If being honest and real would make them ditch you, then itโs not a true friendship. If they canโt accept you as you are, itโs probably time to move on.
4. You never feel emotionally supported when youโre with them.
Real friends are always there for you, whenever you are going through a bad time; no matter how tough it might be, having a strong support system can make you feel protected and safe.
However, one of the main reasons behind you outgrowing your friends is that you donโt feel that love and support anymore. If you feel like they are dragging you down instead of cheering for your wins, then maybe youโre better off without them.
Related: 55 Reasons Why Friendships End
5. You feel judged by them.
Being judged by people online is tough, but itโs even worse when itโs a good friend. When your friends never have your back, rather they make you feel small with their nasty comments arenโt your friends after all.
Maybe they feel bitter because you moved up in the world and left them behind. Maybe theyโre jealous of you seeing how much youโve transformed. Or it could be theyโre just mired in negativity and canโt change their ways.
No matter what the reason is, youโve got to know youโre worth more than that. You deserve better friends and you deserve better people in your life.
6. You complain about them to other people.
This is one of the major signs of outgrowing a friendship. Venting once in a while if you are upset with your friends is okay, but if you find yourself constantly complaining about them when you are with others, then thatโs a red flag. Maybe itโs time for you to reconsider that friendship.
If being around them gives you nothing but annoyance, then maybe you need to have a chat with your mate and figure out if thereโs a way to make it work.
But if youโve given it all youโve got, tried every trick in the book, and still feel like the friendship is dead, then letting go might just be the next step.
7. You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them.
Does being around your friend make you feel good, or does it zap your energy? After meeting them, do you feel tired, downcast, and emotionally exhausted? If you relate to this, then youโre probably outgrowing your friends; youโre just not connecting like you used to.
If dealing with your friend feels like managing a wild teen, and youโre always sorting out their chaotic life and choices, chances are theyโve not caught up with you in growing up.
You might think itโs on you to guide them, but frankly, itโs not. Theyโre adults and they should be able to take care of themselves. Friends should bring joy and laughter to your life, not uneasiness and exhaustion.
8. You canโt resolve fights anymore.
In any meaningful friendship, there will likely be an argument or a tough situation. These times test us as we try to understand our friendโs behavior and look at our own actions too. Weโre then faced with the task of resolving the issue and making up.
However, sometimes settling a fight just isnโt possible for various reasons, maybe you canโt agree or excuse how your friend has acted; they also donโt seem interested in fixing things, or the problem might have dragged on for too long.
When you reach a point where both of you are unable to resolve your arguments and disagreements, or simply are not interested, then thatโs one of the biggest signs of outgrowing a friendship.
Related: Friendship On The Rocks? 11 Warning Signs Your Friend Doesnโt Care About You Anymore
If you notice all or even most of these signs, then the sad news is you are outgrowing your friends. But donโt be disheartened, because sometimes some things simply run their course, and forcing them to be like before will only lead to more bitterness and negativity.
So let them go, and forge your own path. You will have good friends again, and youโll get to enjoy the privilege of having genuine friends in life. Trust me.
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