If You Love Someone But Rarely Make Yourself Available To Him Or Her

“If you love someone but rarely make yourself available to him or her, that is not true love.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Living Buddha, Living Christ

This quote by Thich Nhat Hanh, “If you love someone but rarely make yourself available to him or her, that is not true love,” offers a profound insight into the nature of love and the importance of presence in relationships. Here’s a detailed breakdown of its meaning:

“If you love someone”:

Thich Nhat Hanh starts by acknowledging the universal experience of love. Love is a deep and complex emotion that binds people together. It encompasses feelings of affection, care, and commitment. However, love is not just an emotion; it is also an action and a choice that requires consistent effort and attention.

“But rarely make yourself available to him or her”:

This phrase highlights the importance of availability in a loving relationship. Being available means more than just physical presence; it also involves emotional, mental, and spiritual availability. It means being there for the other person when they need support, sharing in their joys and sorrows, and actively participating in their life. Without this availability, the connection between individuals can weaken, leading to feelings of neglect and isolation.

“That is not true love”:

Thich Nhat Hanh asserts that true love requires presence and availability. Without these elements, the relationship lacks the depth and commitment necessary for genuine love. True love is about making a conscious effort to be there for the other person, showing that they are valued and important.

In essence, this quote emphasizes that love is not just about feelings or words, but about actions and presence. It underscores the importance of being available to those we love, as true love requires ongoing commitment and engagement.

Moreover, the quote highlights the significance of mindfulness in relationships. Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Zen master, often emphasizes the practice of mindfulness—being fully present and engaged in the moment. In the context of love, mindfulness means truly listening to and understanding the other person, being attuned to their needs and emotions, and responding with empathy and care.

This quote also serves as a reminder that relationships require effort and time. In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to become preoccupied with work, technology, and other distractions. However, genuine love demands that we prioritize our relationships and make a conscious effort to be present and available.

Furthermore, the quote speaks to the concept of selflessness in love. True love involves putting the needs of the other person above our own at times. It means being willing to make sacrifices and adjustments to be there for them. This selflessness is a key component of deep, meaningful relationships.

Additionally, Thich Nhat Hanh’s message encourages us to reflect on the quality of our relationships. It prompts us to consider whether we are truly present for those we love, or if we are merely going through the motions. This reflection can lead to greater awareness and improvement in how we engage with our loved ones.

The quote also touches on the importance of communication in relationships. Making oneself available means being open to honest and meaningful conversations. It means actively listening and responding with empathy. Good communication fosters understanding and strengthens the bond between individuals.

In conclusion, Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote offers a profound lesson on the nature of true love. It emphasizes that love is not just about feelings or words, but about actions and presence. True love requires us to make ourselves available to those we care about, showing them that they are valued and important.

By being present and engaged, we demonstrate our commitment and deepen our connections. Thich Nhat Hanh’s message encourages us to practice mindfulness in our relationships, prioritize our loved ones, and cultivate selflessness and empathy.

It reminds us that genuine love is an ongoing effort that requires time, attention, and presence. Ultimately, this quote inspires us to reflect on our relationships and strive for deeper, more meaningful connections through true availability and presence.

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