Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesn’t turn into a serious addiction.
Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.
What is limerence vs love?
In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they can’t think of anything else but him/her.
It might not seem too different from love. Real love is characterized by trust and respect for one another along with a deep emotional connection. Limerence on the other hand only has to do with one person’s feelings towards the other. They don’t care about the mutual understanding like true love does.
So the main difference between limerence vs love is that it doesn’t need a real relationship to be happy. It’s all about chasing and wanting something you can’t have.
If you’re unsure whether you’re feeling this or real love, take a look at these signs of limerence in a relationship down below.
Related: How To Initiate Mental Health Conversations With Your Partner: 6 Tested Strategies
How to tell if what you’re feeling is limerence vs love? Here are five limerence symptoms to watch out for:
1. You Have Obsessive Thoughts About Them
Do you find your mind constantly filled with thoughts of the one you adore, so much so that it becomes difficult to think about anything else? If so, this could be a sign of limerence. You might find yourself replaying conversations in your head and imagining elaborate scenarios where you two are together.
2. You Are Sensitive To Rejection
One of the hallmark limerence symptoms is an intense fear of rejection. You might find yourself analyzing every interaction for signs of interest or disinterest from the other person. Even the slightest hint of indifference can send you spiraling into self-doubt and despair.
3. You Have An Ideal Version Of The Other Person
In limerence, people often put their crush up on a pedestal. Everything they do is flawless, everything they say is perfect. You might ignore their flaws or justify their bad behavior because you believe that this person is the one and only true love of your life.
4. Your Mood Depends On Their Response
The way you feel is really dependent on what the other person says and does. One positive thing can make you over the moon, but one sign of rejection can also throw you into a pit of despair. This love-rollercoaster is what is limerence like.
5. You Are Unable To Move On
You know that no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to rid your head of thoughts about them. You think that maybe if you wait a little longer, they’ll eventually fall in love with you too. But deep down though, you understand that it’s only getting worse.
Is limerence in a relationship healthy?
The short answer is no, it’s not. While experiencing intense emotions is a normal part of the human experience, limerence can lead to a host of negative consequences if left unchecked.
It can consume your thoughts, distract you from other important aspects of your life, and ultimately leave you feeling emotionally drained and unfulfilled.
So, what can you do if you suspect you’re experiencing limerence symptoms?
Step 1: Know the Difference
- Educate yourself on what is limerence vs love.
- Remind yourself that what you have is no good or long-lasting.
Step 2: Asking for Help
- Find people to talk to.
- Tell your loved ones and a therapist.
- Let them know about these feelings.
Step 3: Finding New Ways To Cope
- Look for healthier ways to deal with this.
- Take steps towards a happier, more in tune emotional existence.
Related: 15 Most Romantic Lines Ever Written From Poetry And Literature
Limerence may feel like love, but it’s not the real deal. Understanding what it is and how to deal with it will help you grow as an individual. Reciprocal love is lasting, genuine, and fulfilling.
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