You’re not the person they’re looking for

Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
Or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye

Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor

Sometimes depression means
That summoning the willpower
To go downstairs and do the laundry
Is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week

Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body
That it is capable of movement

Sometimes depression means
Not being able to write for weeks
Because the only words you have to offer the world
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying

Sometimes depression means
That every single bone in your body aches
But you have to keep going through the motions
Because you are not allowed to call in to work depressed

Sometimes depression means
Ignoring every phone call for an entire month
Because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore.

―Hannah Nicole a.k.a. twentysixscribbles

38 thoughts on “You’re not the person they’re looking for”

  1. I m in that phase.I struggle hard to. Get out of my bed and go to my work coz i have responsibility on me for lives.I cry out in the mornings before I step out of bed and convince myself u need to get up.only thing that relieves me is "writing".
    When I write I feel I'm talking,talking to no one but myself,my creator.I have long and deep conversations then no one can understand but I do and He does…

  2. As the new year approaches, many of these I am so very much entrenched in the symptoms. People fail to recognize or realize these are the normal symptoms of those who live with depression. Those who live with depression are not routinely those who purchase or acquire a weapon and harm others. Depression can simply be any of those written by Hannah Nicole and finding one can not see anyway out of it, today, yesterday and tomorrow. -_-

    1. O.K. perhaps there is a misunderstanding of sorts. If it is life than whomever is suffering from depression. The examples lasting for hours, perhaps a day might be attributed to someone experiencing a bad patch during their lives. It passes. However, if any of the suggested symptoms lasts longer and become routine, they are indicative of some type of prolonged illness or depression, or other mental illness. None of these are typical for anyone to endure daily and prolonged.

    2. Aissatou Sunjata there is no misunderstanding. I am simply saying, that this can happen in other cases besides depression. Say for example.. you outgrow a friendship – or something along those lines. It's just not always about being depressed

  3. Where both the opposites, heart and mind meet at the point of transformation….this is where this condition happens. People take this negatively but wisely if you see….this point is good for your self and after this turning point, with everyone you make a connection <3

    1. How a mental disorder is with a person himself, if you recognize someone in the same situation…a healthy mind person is not judgmental towards that person rather understand him properly, that he is not having any expectations from the world but is rather accepting the world. If you face this situation then you must support him rather than discriminate. My beloved has said very wisely that Consciousness must never be measured as high or low.

  4. Everyone has to have a dream . If you lose hold of your dream you will spiral into depression . I am fighting that now with my back being so bad I can not do anything . It is daily struggle to hang on but I will not let it get the best if me.

  5. this post made me laugh and smile while reading it, there are certain words that kinda refers to me he he he….it's like someone dear to me is the one speaking. Lol 🙂 miss you…
    You? miss me? guess not! 🙁 sad

  6. That is exactly the power that depression can & does have as it accelerates.. that is exactly when I have to dig even deeper-every day- to force myself to alter 'the feel'.. force myself to shower-dress-set in the sun, whatever small task that maybe. If we surrender that will power & give in too soon or give in too much control to our feelings & current 'real' state of mind & thinking process~ it becomes more powerful & sucks us / ME, deeper down into that spiral of negative & powerless & unsound reasoning of depression ~ its okay & unable to prevent that.. but always fight back, it has the hidden power to help.. thats my take & experience most of my life!

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