We all want positive influences in our lives and many of us are searching for them relentlessly — foraging friendships and letting those go who don’t inspire us — but often we forget to ask ourselves if we are positive influences. We go through life looking for positivity and seeking it in others without really assessing what it is that we’re giving back to others. Cliche as it sounds, you get what you give. Once I started thinking about this topic, I my mind started racing with questions — questions we all could be asking ourselves. So, take a moment, stop what you’re doing, and ask yourself these questions:
- What kind of vibe do I give off?
- How do I convey my beliefs and thoughts to others?
- How enjoyable am I to be around?
- What makes me interesting? Fun? Positive?
- What am I giving back to those around me?
Honestly, when I stopped and really answered these questions for myself, I wasn’t as happy with the answers as I would like to be. There are times when I’m just plain not fun to be around. I’m in a rush or I’m stressed or I’m thinking to myself, “What’s next?” And who wants to be around someone who isn’t enjoying the moment, but is instead thinking about what she has to do next? I certainly wouldn’t want to be around someone like that, and yet, Iam someone like that more often than I’d like.
The whole “get what you give” concept is cliche, yes, but it’s also true. If you want to be around a certain type of person, you need to be that type of person. If you don’t feel as if you are the type of person you would want to spend time with, you must ask yourself:
What can I do to make myself the kind of person I want to be around?
Of course, I’m not at all suggesting that you change who you are. At our very core, we have certain attributes and characteristics that make us who we are. We should be true to ourselves. But there are parts of ourselves that we can alter and tweak so that we are more enjoyable to be around. It might sound like this is changing ourselves for others, but, in reality, the more enjoyable you are to be around, the more people will want to be with you and the more enjoyment you’ll find for yourself.
I don’t have any magic formula when it comes to making yourself a likeable, enjoyable person to be around. Everyone is unique and the people we surround ourselves with are unique as well. In some social circles, it might be important to be quiet and reserved, while in others its imperative that one be outgoing and boisterous. Though it’s up to you to assess your own social circle and your own personal pros and cons, I can offer some generic words of wisdom when it comes to being a likeable person who is enjoyable to spend time with.
9 Ways To Be More Likeable
1. Be yourself. The more you stay true to yourself, the more likeable you will be. This might not seem obvious because you might wonder, “What if no one likes the real me?” It can be really hard to be yourself — especially if you feel like you don’t fit in — but even if you are different from other people, when you are true to yourself, people appreciate that. Just think about the last time you met someone who was truly being him/herself. Even if you didn’t really relate to him or her, you have to admit that there is something fantastic about someone who is comfortable with who they are. Strive to emulate that in your own life.