My response to him was on a cellular level. But what KEPT me around him was the thought that I was sneaking and doing something I knew my parents wouldn’t approve of at all. I did it though because it was one of the very first things in my young life that I did because I wanted to, with no regard for whether I was being “a good girl” or “doing the right thing.”
It is a phase that all young females must go through on the road to self-actualization and independent thinking as a mature woman.
We have to cover the full spectrum of manhood to figure out which one WE like best, and not choose a man strictly based on assuring the approval of our family and friends. It’s a hard road!”
The one thing that was mentioned only by a few respondents—and one expert—is (in my opinion) the most important thing to consider when evaluating a woman’s choice of a Bad Boy: self-esteem.
Society in general—and the media in particular—LOVE to paint the Bad Boy as the black hole of masculinity.
That is to say, that nothing can escape them… no woman can resist their magnetism, no Nice Guy is nice enough to keep a woman away from their pull.
In truth, it’s women who have the complete control of the “magnetism” of these men.
Sure, some of it is primal (read: “Can this manly man take care of me, and bring food to the table?”)but it’s up to women to realize that they not only should be wanting more than what the short-shelf-life Bad Boy can provide them, they deserve more.
And while some women are trying to figure out if it’s a good idea to marry them, others are looking at their motivations.
From David D. Clarke, MD, clinical assistant professor of medicine at Oregon Health Sciences University and author of They Can’t Find Anything Wrong!: 7 Keys to Understanding, Treating, and Healing Stress Illness:
“During the last 25 years I have interviewed thousands of women who have been in relationships with men who treated them disrespectfully. Some of them married several of these men.
Why? The women I interviewed had, as children, been treated in ways that lowered their self-esteem.
Consequently, as adults, they tended to fall into relationships that were consistent with what they were accustomed to, with men who treated them in ways that were familiar.
They then set to work trying to meet the man’s needs and make the relationship work better, very much in parallel with what they did as children.
They were accustomed to getting back far less than they gave and that pattern continued into the adult years. It was only when their self-esteem improved that they would recognize they deserved better.”
Self-esteem, the method by which Bad Boys rise to perceived greatness, and take advantage of situations with women.
And it’s important to note that Bad Boys come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. As many women (and men) can attest to, age does not always equal maturity.