Why You Should Forget What You Have Learned About Narcissists

 October 25, 2018

Why You Should Forget What You Have Learned About Narcissists

This is not my experience with these sociopathic beings, and certainly not how it feels from the inside looking out. These may be true for the first couple of encounters, but will quickly drop off, and only return when it is necessary to keep you hanging on. While it might be clear to outsiders that the budding connection is moving quickly (i.e. moving in together after just a few months), it can actually feel like a drawn out and exhausting process while you’re experiencing it. These manipulators will generally play cat and mouse in the beginning inventing stages, even being aloof at times. They have the ability to routinely take a step back, allowing you to reel them back in, and offering the illusion that it is you making the decisions about the relationship pace, while they appear to be the one with reservations. They are testing you, again, to see what they will be able to get away with before you draw the line. They are also starting the early stages of securing the trauma bond, pulling away as a form of punishment, and offering a reward to you by returning. They are testing the waters to see how well you are being trained. 


3. Narcissists are only acting out of hurt, and a strong desire to protect themselves from additional pain.

They are just wounded children who were not properly loved when they needed it, and are not purposefully trying to hurt you.

Disagree. Is there some truth to this?…sure. Will allowing this type of thinking make you more susceptible to upcoming abuse?…absolutely. This is such a small part of how they become these fragmented adults, but does not change the inconsequential motivations driving their current actions. This is a rationalization that allows victims to see these disingenuous souls as injured creatures, in need of love, and capable of change. They are not seeking love. They are seeking obedience. Love is wasted on them, as they are incapable of returning it, or even appreciating it. And no amount of love, understanding and sacrifice will change how they will feel about you, how they will treat you and how your relationship will eventually reach its demise. These are inevitable. They do not care who they hurt, it is insignificant. The only one who will be affected by the trials of this encounter, is you.

You’re smart to want to protect yourself; knowledge is power. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not new. Thankfully, the awareness of its existence is newly emerging into many social platforms. It has long been misunderstood, leaving potential victims on the lookout for that well-groomed egomaniac, or the attention-seeking class clown. Unfortunately, it won’t be quite that apparent, as these marauders will stealthily sneak right into your life, your house, and your heart, none of which will be fully intact when they leave. Those who have survived narcissistic abuse will tell you they noticed an uneasy feeling, or early-on doubts or confusion, that they were easily able to justify and forgive. After all, these parasites seek out the most compassionate and forgiving people in the room.