10 Reasons Why You Have No Friends (And How To Make New Ones)

reasons why you have no friends

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9. Difficulty opening up or trusting others

If you have a difficult time opening up to others or trusting your loved ones, then it can be difficult to build genuine connections, let alone new friendships. When we lack trust, we keep ourselves from getting close to others and letting them into our lives. But when you can learn to become vulnerable and share your innermost thoughts with someone by building trust, then it can lead to the closest friendships. It is only by knowing more about each other you will be able to trust your friend and form close relationships. However, if you have excessive trust issues, then seeking therapy can help.

10. Lack of belongingness

Do you feel that you are unique and don’t necessarily fit in anywhere? Close and real friendships provide us meaning and offer a sense of belonging, which helps to manage our negative emotions, stress and helps us feel safe and protected. But when we feel that we don’t belong or don’t fit in, we tend to withdraw and isolate ourselves from others. Research reveals that “human beings have a pervasive drive to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of lasting, positive, and significant interpersonal relationships.” The truth is you are not alone, there are others who think and feel just like you do. All you need to do is boost your confidence, improve your social skills and look for like-minded people, whether online or in the real world.

11. Other factors

Here are some other reasons why you don’t have any real friends –

  • You have different interests than your peers and coworkers
  • You tend to travel or move a lot which makes it hard to make or maintain friendships
  • Due to your work or lifestyles, you lack opportunities to meet new people 
  • You seem desperate and needy to others as you are trying too hard to make a new friend
  • You have not maintained any contact or connection with old friends 
  • You think others hate you or at least no one likes you
  • You are not a very sociable person and don’t have adequate social experience
  • You tend to be quiet and fail to attract attention in groups
  • You believe you don’t have what it takes to make friends
  • Being a loner, you have always lived online and you have never had any friends
  • You are too pessimistic, negative or toxic which is why others avoid you
  • You prefer to socialize only with your romantic partner or spouse
  • You generally feel resentment and bitterness towards people
  • You have anger issues and often react in ways that make others feel uncomfortable
  • You have moved to a new city away from your hometown & lost your old social circle
  • You live in a remote rural area with few new people to meet
  • You change your job frequently and hence, you don’t have any work friends
  • You have serious insecurities and are afraid of abandonment or rejection
  • You think making new friends will take too much hard work and you’re not sure if it will be worth it

Related: Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think

10 Reasons Why You Have No Friends (And How To Make New Ones)
10 Reasons Why You Have No Friends (And How To Make New Ones)

How To Make New Friends

Life changes constantly and despite our best efforts, we often find ourselves alone and lonely. Regardless of the reason, if you find yourself friendless and are willing to meet new people to build new connections, then here are a few ways to bring new friends into your life –

1. Learn to cope with social anxiety

As social phobia is one of the challenges that keeps you from making new connections, you need to learn how to deal with such unpleasant, negative and strong feelings that hold you back. Unless you overcome your anxiety, you will not be able to be your genuine self and connect fully in social settings. It is best to practice some deep breathing techniques for relaxation strategies or even consult a therapist. According to a 2017 study, “Cognitive behavioral therapy can be regarded as the psychotherapy with the highest level of evidence.”

2. Avoid negative self-talk

Our insecurities and self-criticism often keep ourselves from meeting new people by filling our heads with thoughts like, “what if they don’t like me?” But you need to realize that a thought, is just that… a thought. It’s not the reality. Although you may mistakenly believe that you can’t make friends, you possess all the natural skills and traits needed to form meaningful friendships. Studies show that your social anxiety makes you underestimate your social skills as you try to “avoid social and performance situations” that cause you considerable distress. So by changing the way you talk to yourself instead of beating yourself up, change the script of your inner monologue. Tell yourself that you are compassionate, likeable, confident and have an appealing personality.

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Theo Harrison

Hey there! I am just someone trying to find my way through life. I am a reader, writer, traveler, fighter, philosopher, artist and all around nice guy. I am outdoor person but heavily into technology, science, psychology, spiritualism, Buddhism, martial arts and horror films. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts