Why The Narcissist Devalues You? 5 Reasons You Should Know

Why Narcissist Devalues You

Related: Are Narcissists Predictable? The Playbook They Use To Manipulate You

The prospect of getting this hoover fuel means that we want to focus our attention on the predecessor and hoover them. We will not get shot of you, not yet, because that will leave us in in-between primary sources of fuel. Instead, we commence the hoover to seduce again your predecessor and thus because they have appeared on the horizon they make you look like the less desirable option.

This causes us to question why we are with you, to regard you as a mistake and therefore we switch to devaluing you as we begin the seduction of them once again.

Should the hoover fail, expect the golden period to be reinstated for you, with another sudden switch. Should it succeed and we begin to tie the predecessor back to us once more with the hoover fuel beginning to flow, you can expect the devaluation to worsen as you hurtle towards being dis-engaged from.

Are you confused observing that why suddenly narcissist devalues you? A sudden switch to devaluation may indeed herald the fact that a predecessor has appeared on our radar and we are hoovering that person at your expense.

5. Total Control

You are aware that we want to control you. This is fundamental to the dynamic between us. Yet, as a further example of the double standards that we engage in, we want to control you and if you disobey us we will commence your devaluation but furthermore, if we believe we have obtained total control over you then we will similarly commence your devaluation because we know that you will do anything that we want and we will just use you to validate ourselves in the event that other, more exciting prospects do not fuel us during the course of the day.

Related: 8 Tricks Narcissists Play To Manipulate Their Victims

You become relegated to the reliable and dependable because you are actually doing precisely what we want, but through our warped logic, this equates to you no longer being special.

Thus we need to make you special to us once again and we do this through devaluation. We will not cast you aside when we have achieved total control, not at all. This state of affairs brings with it considerable benefits but they will now be channeled through the filter of devaluation and not idealization. It is symptomatic of the bizarre (when judged from your perspective) logic we apply that when you finally do the very thing we want, we turn against you and begin your evaluation. Are you wondering how to deal with all these?

How do you deal when Narcissist devalues You?

The short answer is you cannot. Any of these five reasons may suddenly apply without warning and your devaluation starts. You cannot avoid it and you could not avoid it. You did nothing wrong, but you did everything wrong from our world view.

There is nothing you can do to avoid this happening because once the trigger happens, the devaluation will follow. The thing you can draw the greatest solace from however is that in knowing this is how we are, in knowing that there was nothing you can do or you could have done to have changed the outcome, you at least now have this knowledge and through it you can attain freedom from the doubt, uncertainty and sheer bewilderment of wondering why it happened.

Written by: HG Tudor

Originally appeared on: Narcsite

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Why The Narcissist Devalues You? 5 Reasons You Should Know

7 thoughts on “Why The Narcissist Devalues You? 5 Reasons You Should Know”

  1. Jennifer Wilson

    How is ‘this different than when us “borderlines” do it?
    Having borderline personality disorder , and having a npd mother, I do a similar thing. It feels out of my control. And causes me extreme confusion and despair.

  2. Yes, there is one thing we can do to prevent this. Don’t get involved with crappy people like you in the first place or leave quickly. When I smell someone is narcissistic – that’s the last time they see me.

  3. Hi, thanks for the intro.
    1st Q: are you ever sick of yourself
    2nd Q: what is the % of people who read you from the first encounter?

  4. Thank you for this honest approach to this question. Its clear and concise and covers the topic as a whole which provides a good perspective in my opinion. On top of that, it provides an answer to the question. I would have never gotten this from my ex narc. Its really helpful and i appreciate it.

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