You may not think that you love us any less but it is the way that appears to us that matters. This change manifests as complacency to us and it makes your fuel become stale, less potent and this, in turn, threatens to weaken us. That’s when narcissist devalues you.
In order to defend ourselves, we must immediately switch to the devaluation and extract the negative fuel from you which will power us to the extent we want and demand.
Our sense of entitlement, inability to recognize and respect boundaries and a huge need for control means that we have to have you do what we want. This control arises through the application of the incentive, the carrot approach when we have seduced you and the golden period is in play. Through the application of wonderful and loving behavior, we cause you to do what we want by providing fuel and carrying out our wishes. We have delighted you and you want to please us in return.
We provide you with the love you desire and you respond by complying with our requirements. When you stop submitting to this benign control then we will switch and commence the devaluation. You may, when viewed objectively by others, be correct in not doing what we want, taking an alternative course of action, and doing something else but to us that is irrelevant.
You are challenging our control and this cannot be countenanced. In order to stamp out this uprising before it gains traction and undermines our careful operation that has been constructed to control you and gain fuel from you, we must tighten our control, remove the dissent and increase our grip on you. This is when the narcissist devaluation begins. We move from benign dictator to malign tyrant.
3. See Through
If we apprehend that you are working us out. If we perceive that you have been influenced by another source and you are joining the dots. If we gauge that you are beginning to realize what we are and what we are doing, then we must strike first in order to shock and awe you into submission once more and dispel your fabrications.
You may well be right but we are not going to accept you being right. This is the point where narcissist devalues you. We will switch to the devaluation in order to unleash all those manipulations which will confuse you, drain you and most of all make out that it is all your fault. We have done nothing wrong other than love you with perfect love and instead you have brought this on yourself through your lies about what we are and your treachery.
Watch this interesting video on why and how narcissist devalues you:
We cannot allow you to unmask us and therefore we will assault you with a frenzied devaluation which gives you no option other than to try and defend yourself so you lose sight of your goal of seeing through us.
We will make you feel guilty, cruel, and heartless in the hope of tapping into your empathic traits so you stop what you have been doing and concentrate on putting things right between us, mending the relationship, and showing that you care. The commencement of the devaluation when you are uncovering what we are is a massive distraction exercise designed to protect us and harm you.
4. The Hoover Opportunity
This is not a hoover against you. Instead, it is the opportunity that suddenly arises to hoover a predecessor. This person may have been dis-engaged from and moved away from our sphere of influence or they have escaped and done likewise, but now something has happened whereby they have come back into our sphere of influence. The promise of that sweet and powerful hoover fuel will outweigh the positive fuel that you are currently providing us with.