For me, I think there is a level of security and safety in believing that there are people who “have it all together.” It scares me to think that most of us have no idea what we’re doing, and simply doing the best we can with what we have. It’s terrifying to imagine that no one has all of the answers and that it is ultimately up to me to make my own path.
Even though it doesn’t feed my ego to put myself down, there is a part of me that can still cling to the self-destructive tendency of believing I’m “not as good” as someone else. I will continue to pour fuel on this unworthy fire if I continue comparing myself to others.
What does comparing do for you? Is it feeding a maladjusted belief that you aren’t worthy? Instead of looking up and out, try looking in. You are enough.
The reality is that there is nothing outside of you that can fill the internal void inside of you. Believe me, I’ve tried. Relationships, money, careers, approval from others, and so on. None of it works.
True self-love begins and ends internally. The gifts we receive in our lives, or the gifts that we work tirelessly for, are wonderful byproducts of the work we do internally. Stop seeking externally. Stop comparing yourself to others.
If I’ve learned anything as a therapist, it’s this: Everybody has their secrets. Everybody has their pain. Everybody compares themselves to others. Some more than others, but we all do it. It is the human condition, and it doesn’t have to keep being this way.
Be mindful of your narrative. Acknowledge your strengths. Forgive yourself for being human, and start walking each other home.
Written By Hannah Rose Originally Appeared On Psychology Today