What kind of influence do you want to be?
Being judged usually makes you feel less valuable, activating a defensive limbic response. In a polarized world, divided into contentious groups, one tribe begins to devalue another tribe. Now millions of people may feel disrespected and distrusted by each other. What happens then? how to fulfill the need to feel valued?
We do not need to continue going down that road.
Now more than ever, the coronavirus has shown us how much more we have in common than separates us. We all want the same thing—to survive. But we no longer need to have someone else perish to thrive or die to survive. We are all stronger when we cooperate than when we compete.
Respect leads to value, and value leads to trust. People who trust feel safer than those who fear. You can use value to make someone less stressed, less angry, anxious, or sad, and more confident that they can remain in their protective group.
Try it today, at home, during these crazy days of Corona. Remind someone of their value and see what happens. Watch how they respond and how you feel.
We all want the same thing. we all need to feel valued. We are more alike than different. At our core, we are all part of one group, one tribe: It’s called humanity.
To know more about how to control anger when you don’t feel valued, refer to Outsmarting Anger: 7 Strategies for Defusing our Most Dangerous Emotion
I believe we are always doing the best we can. I call this our I-M. This is who I am and I Matter. Our I-M is always adapting to Four Domains. Our Home Domain, our Social Domain, our Biological Domain of our brain and body, and our Ic Domain or how I see myself and how I think other people see me. Using the I-M lens there is no pathology, there is no sickness. No one is broken. We are at our I-M, doing the best we can at this moment in time, always adapting to even the smallest change in any of the Domains in the very next second to another I-M.
Written by: Dr. Joseph Shrand Drug Story Theater Podcast Originally appeared on: Psychology Today Republished with permission