Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as does alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping, and so on.
In the case of infidelity, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex – using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness. Rather than end the relationship, taking their emptiness and aloneness with them into their next relationship, Megan and Jim have the opportunity to do some inner healing work.
Megan and Jim decided that it was worth trying to save their marriage. They came to one of our Inner Bonding Couples Intensives and learned about all the ways they were making the other person responsible for their well-being and happiness. They learned the powerful Inner Bonding process for taking responsibility for their own feelings and for connecting with an ever-present source of love and wisdom to help them learn to love themselves. They discovered that they had no love to share with each other until they learned how to fill themselves with love and to be loving to themselves. They learned:
- To stay focused inward, on their own feelings and behavior, rather than have their eyes on the other’s plate.
- That their intention is the most powerful thing they have, and that they are either in the intent to protect against pain or the intent to learn in any given moment. They discovered that the intent to learn about themselves and each other creates intimacy while the intent to protect against being hurt creates distance.
- They learned to explore their own fears and beliefs rather than keep trying to get the other to change.
- They learned how to connect with their personal source of inner/spiritual guidance to help them know the loving action toward themselves and with each other and they learned to take loving action for themselves rather than try to get the other to take care of them.
They then continued their learning and received much support by joining the Inner Bonding membership community. By being willing to do their Inner Bonding work and learn how to take emotional responsibility for themselves, Megan and Jim were able to create a much more intimate and fulfilling relationship. The affairs, rather than ending their relationship, led to creating a whole new and satisfying relationship. At this point, neither Megan nor Jim has any desire to have an affair.
Written By Dr. Margaret Paul
Printed With Permission
You May Also Like: