No matter who has done what before or during the affair, no one can build or heal a marriage alone.
Willingness to work together on a new marriage.
When a couple enters therapy with the resolve to make their marriage better than it was before the affair, their marriage has great promise. They know that the marriage they once knew can’t exist anymore. And it probably shouldn’t. Will they still keep certain qualities of their “first” marriage? Of course. But in order for them to forgive one another and themselves, they have to feel the infusion of new life into what the infidelity destroyed.
The question of which marriages survive infidelity is best answered by the mutuality of determination in the partners. They both have to really want the reconciliation and healing of their marriage.
They also have to be willing to faithfully take on their respective responsibilities for making that happen.
Marriages riven by the betrayal of infidelity can come back together. And those with the greatest success are those in which both partners decide that their reconciliation won’t be in vain.
Written by Dr. Karen Finn
Originally appeared in Dr. Karen Finn
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