What to Do When You Don’t Know Where You Stand In Someone’s Life


If he does work through his issues and realizes you are for him, he will come back for you.


Situation 3: He tells you he doesn’t want you yet shows you otherwise

When a guy tells you that he doesn’t want you in his life, but acts like he does, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.  In other words, he wants to have the benefits of being single and having a girlfriend at the same time – when it’s convenient for him.

What you should do:

Don’t give him the benefits of having a girlfriend when he’s just wanting to hang out and hook up.  This reinforces he can have his cake and eat it too.  If you really like him, stop doing things a girlfriend does and treat him like a friend.  Then see how he responds.

His response (or lack of) will reveal his true intentions.


Situation 4: He tells you and shows you he wants you

When a guy tells and shows you that he wants you in his life, believe him.  If you have a hard time believing him, it’s most likely because you don’t think you deserve to be with him.  (Thinking he is too good to be true is a form of thinking you’re not deserving.)

What you should do:

Determine the reasons you think you are not worthy of being with him and work on improving your self worth by valuing yourself.  Notice the way you think about yourself.  For instance, if the thought of “I’m not good enough” often comes up, observe that thought curiously with judgment-free awareness.

Each time that thought comes up, continue observing this with curiosity and judgment-free awareness.  The more you observe this thought, it will begin to release itself.  Do this type of observation for all thoughts that keep you from knowing your worth.


Situation 5: He tells you and shows you he doesn’t want you

If he is telling and showing you that he doesn’t want you in his life, believe him.  If you don’t believe him, you are imagining him to be better than he is and not seeing him and the nature of your relationship for what they are.

What you should do:

Respect yourself – leave so that you can preserve your self esteem. 

Respect his choice instead of trying to convince him otherwise.  You won’t have to throw yourself or convince the man who is right for you.  If a man is the one for you, you will know how he feels and where you stand.


Still Unsure?

If you are still unsure what to do and have been seeing a guy for a while who isn’t forthcoming about where you stand, your intuition and body knows.

Notice how you feel about yourself when you’re with him, in between the times you see him and when you’re without him.

Walk away if:

1. You don’t feel good about yourself when you’re with him or at the thought of him; or

2. You’re with him because you’re afraid you won’t meet anyone else.

Janet Ong Zimmerman, founder of Love for Successful Women, mentors women are professionally successful yet still missing that deep and meaningful love. She helps them simplify love, so they can see things clearly and know what to do. Janet's gentle and introspective manner helps her clients feel at ease, confident and hopeful about love. Her own experience of marrying her soul mate later in life has reinforced her belief any woman, at any age, can have the love they desire. Janet wholeheartedly believes there is a special someone for every woman. Janet inspires women to open their hearts to the real meaning of love through her editorial contributions to Your Tango, eHarmony, and the Huffington Post Live. Your monthly guide to love is filled with insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that you can put into immediate use. You canread current and past issues here.