What Happens When You See The Narcissist After No Contact?

you see the narcissist

On the flip side, if you have healed yourself and you seem to be quite well to the narcissist, they may actually ignore and avoid you due to their sense of pride. They actually could see you as superior to them which would dig into their insecurities. That is the level of healing you want to attain.

Just remember your reasons: You had enough of the narcissistic abuse and once and for all you went no contact with the narcissist who made your life a living hell.

What Else Should You Do If You See The Narcissist After No Contact?

Not that you’re out for revenge or anything, but if you were it would serve you well to remember that the best revenge is served cold.

Remember what narcissists need more than anything? Attention. Narcissistic supply. In other words, narcissists hate to be ignored. So one way to deal with them is to give them exactly what they deserve – NOTHING. None of your attention and none of your energy. You can just walk away.

Now, you have to know that the narcissist will need to pretend that there’s something wrong with you when you do this. They will never be able to admit to themselves (or to anyone else) that they mistreated or abused you in any way. In fact, they’ve probably already told everyone how crazy or terrible YOU are and most likely portrayed themselves as the victim.

But what if ignoring them isn’t an option? Then what are you supposed to do? Well, you can just nod or smile in acknowledgment and keep on walking. It’s really all about keeping your composure and maintaining your dignity.

Related: 10 Rules Of No Contact With A Narcissist

This next part is really important. Despite the fact that you would probably rather be poked in the eye with a sharp stick than see this person, you’re going to have to put your feelings on the back burner for a minute. Why? Because under no circumstances should you allow the narcissist or anyone nearby to see that you’re in any way bothered by the narcissist’s presence?

Pay attention to the little details here – be very aware of your facial expression and avoid showing any signs of disgust. (If you’re anything like me, your face has a way of telling all your secrets – so you might want to practice your poker face in the mirror ahead of time to be safe.)

And if you want to avoid giving the narcissist that little zing of satisfaction they will inevitably feel if they think you look or seem anything less than amazing, you want to appear indifferent. Act like they’re any acquaintance you’ve ever met – like they’re just somebody you don’t really know very well almost.

Even if it absolutely tortures you to see them, never let them see you sweat – even if you need to go cry in your car afterward.

Regardless of how much or how little you’ve healed if or when you happen to see the narcissist after going no contact, just be sure you don’t react to them at all – or if you do, keep it brief, polite, and business-like.

Remember that the narcissist will be watching closely, looking for any reaction at all. They will get a little “hit” of narcissistic supply if they think you miss them or you’re having a hard time without them.  So just be sure to avoid giving them even a slight hint that you are affected by not having them in your life – unless the effects you display are positive.

Related: 8 Signs You Are The Victim of an Abusive “Hoovering” Narcissist

What If The Narcissist Approaches You And Attempts To Hoover You?

Play it cool, like ice. Just don’t give them the chance to trap you again. Remember that no matter how hard they swear they’ve changed, or they will change, they absolutely will not. As always, they’d continue to be the person they’ve always been. You went no contact for a reason, so don’t give up on yourself.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Also, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Written by Angela Atkinson
Originally appeared on Queenbeeing.com

and is republished with permission.
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1 thought on “What Happens When You See The Narcissist After No Contact?”

  1. Avatar of Tina Chambers

    I loved this article! I went no contact for 10 months & one day while driving, I just happen to see my ex walking down the street.. I freaked out, flipped him off & then thought to myself.. STOP! You need to go talk to him! .. I turned my truck around, said a prayer asking God to help me to stay calm & to say the right things. I sat there sorta reving my diesel truck engine, watching him cower behind his friend, looking as if he was trying to hide, & barely looking my direction. Lol. I knew he knew it was me! I pulled up behind them, and he ran up onto the sidewalk, immediately turned around & said… “Hey, Nice truck.. really nice!” He already knew I had this truck! Then he complimented me on how great I looked.. wow! And then he basically just started bs-ing, rambling on & on about, well… nothing! I stopped him, mid sentence & said.. “I didn’t actually stop to catch up with you. I saw you & figured I’d stop & tell you, that I forgive you for all the crap you did to me. I just thought you should know that.” He was like, “All the crap, I did to you?.. Ha ha ha, it’s more like all the crap you did to me!” And I calmly replied.. ” Well, I didn’t stop to debate with you either. So, maybe you need to get your sh** together & make something out of your life.” He then proceeded to bitch and moan about how his life is all screwed up because of his parents & on & on he went.. I told him, I needed to get going. He asked for a ride. I said No. He asked me for some money. I said No. I said good-bye & then I drove off. I had a smile on my face, & I didn’t even look back, at him through my rear view mirror! Done! It felt great & it was so healing for me!! We were only together for 8 months. He was Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally, Psychologically & Financially Abusive. I don’t know all of the terminology, but he was a very resourceful Sociopath/Narcissist. (It did take me another 10 months & probably 15+ attempts to finally escape safely!) I went back to my hometown & sought help there. I got Counseling, went to support groups, & then was able to get safe at a very confidential Domestic Violence Shelter. I did a lot of inner work & was educated on the cycle of abuse. I’ve healed a lot of trauma & still continue counseling & work on healing daily. I am also a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate now & I’m helping bring awareness to what abuse is. I want to eventually go on the road and share my story. Because, my life was a “Mess” & now I’m turning it into a “Message”… One of love, joy, healing & hope! TLC

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