When We Fall In Love, This Is What Actually Happens

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Getting clear about the kind of relationship that we want and the kind of person that we want to share it with are undoubtedly important steps in the realization of our dreams. But the most important aspect of creating an optimal relationship has less to do with finding the person of our dreams than with being the person of our dreams. It’s about who we become in the process.

When we identify the qualities that we seek to strengthen within ourselves, the likelihood of attracting the right person increases exponentially.

Being a great lover has less to do with technique than with our quality of being.

As we cultivate qualities like presence, generosity, compassion, commitment, and trustworthiness, and integrate practices that embody those qualities into our lives, the quality of our relationships will naturally, effortlessly become enhanced.

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”  Morrie Schwartz

There is truly no limit to what is possible when two people are partnered in an agreement to support each other in the quest to discover all that is possible on this journey. Yes, it does take effort, time, and energy, but as anyone who has stayed on the path for a while will tell you, the result is worth every ounce of energy that it takes to do the work, and more. More, even, than you can imagine.


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Love makes the world go round, and if you have love in your life, you will be one of the happiest people on earth. Do you know what is even better than love? Loving yourself and your partner the right way. If your relationship is based on values, trust, and respect, it will go a long way in the future.

So, what are you waiting for?

Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Originally appeared in Psychology today

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When We Fall In Love, This Is What Actually Happens
When We Fall In Love, This Is What Actually Happens

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Linda and Charlie Bloomhttp://bloomwork.com/
Linda Bloom, LCSW and Charlie Bloom, MSW have been trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors and have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975. They have lectured and taught at universities and learning institutes throughout the USA, including the Esalen Institute, the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, 1440 Multiversity, and many others.  They have taught seminars in many countries throughout the world. They have co-authored four books, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth From Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After And 39 Other Myths About Love, and That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They have been married since 1972 and are the parents of two adult children and three grandsons. Linda and Charlie live in Santa Cruz, California. Their website is www.bloomwork.com
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