Defense mechanisms are normal and necessary. Yet, when a partner is highly defended and is unable to entertain the uncomfortable and painful emotions, such as insight, introspection, empathy, and sincere remorse, it may be a sign he or she is incapable of resolving conflict productively. Each individual knee-deep in the conflict needs to own their part, say sorry, and attempt to repair the damage. If an individual does not sincerely embody these capabilities, it may be a sign the relationship needs professional guidance.
You can read Dr. Erin Leonard’s book “Emotional Terrorism, Breaking The Chains of A Toxic Relationship” to know more about this, and you can get it here. She has several other books to her credit, and you can check them out here.
Written By Erin Leonard
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today
When your partner shuts you out, it can naturally feel very frustrating. But instead of getting upset about it, try to approach the problem with a calm head, and take one step at a time. Try to understand your partner, and where the problem actually lies. Be patient and calm, and you will see your partner slowly opening up to you.
If you want to know more about what you can do when your partner shuts you out, then check this video out below: