So I have been guided this far so well lately. My hard healing work and consistent desire for growth and bettering myself and life around me are taking me places. The things that just happen to lead me exactly where I want to be are sometimes obvious, and sometimes I don’t see them coming. l am in a place where all is well, good and great even when seeming otherwise. I mostly handle it well and keep on hustling.
The thing is I don’t understand why some days I am unexpectedly OFF! Nervous, anxious, restless, too quiet and OFF! I don’t know what I am worried about or scared of if any.
I have things going exactly where I hope for them to be, then again sometimes I would just do absolutely nothing. No work, no interest, and no drive. I start questioning if am really on track or am I just lazy and delusional.
I realize I need assurance… and I try to find it within me, but it doesn’t always work.
Then again I think to myself:
“I have got to follow through and see it all through.”
I remind myself that It’s okay to be off. Once in a while, when all is good and great; a little off is okay! It is after all that makes us ‘living’ humans. Those moments of wonder and question. The days of not knowing what is wrong. Hours of skimming through content seeking inspiration. Times when we feel we don’t have enough time. And God forbids all those momentarily shopping decisions and emotional ‘one more bite’ we mistakenly think will make everything better and they just pain our bank statement and fat cells.
In other words, I am also being guided to notice that while everything is good and great I still need to pay attention to me!
I still need to make sure I am well-rested, taken care of and kindly treated. I may never stop making the time to take time.
Take the time to breathe, walk out in the open aimlessly, listen to all the weird music that wires my brain well, dance for hours, dive into a well-nested plot of a movie or just lose myself in a silly rom-com, laugh, laugh, laugh or cry even, bitch like an annoying self-indulging person, being even when all is good and well!
We forget that even in an awakened life, we get consumed by how the going gets going. We overlook the constant need to work the work. We are taken by how miraculous this all is. We are overwhelmed with the flowing process and overtaken by our new and unusual ways of doing things and going by them without even blinking. We are struck by how it all comes to us so naturally. We forget what real work is. We forget to marvel, to stop and star and to get well and feel good to be great when all is well, good and great!
Follow through and see all this through.
G U M P T I O N