To experience freedom within your relationship, shift from focusing on what you are receiving to what you are giving. Just as gratitude is the path to abundance, so selfless giving is the way to feel true love. If love is a force that moves through us, then giving it to another person is one of the ways that we experience it ourselves.
Unconditional loving is just that, offering love without the condition that it be received or returned in any particular way.
True love is not currency. We cannot buy someone’s time, affection, or return of love. We cannot purchase a healthy relationship or the guarantee that someone will stay with us without ever-changing. True love is a gift that enriches us in the giving but comes with no other certainty.
Imagine that you have a beautiful flower in your yard. Your favorite kind of flower. It blooms in a gorgeous display of color and sensuality. A part of you feels vibrant and inspired just looking at that flower, and you are so glad it exists.
And then, in the course of nature, the flower dies. You may feel sadness, and a bit of loss, which is natural when something beautiful leaves your life. But then life goes on, and you appreciate beauty in other flowers, in other seasons.
If you were to demand that flower live forever without changing, or believe that you will never experience beauty again after that one flower died, that would be an unhealthy attachment.
But if you can appreciate the flower fully while it is alive and then let it go, feeling the love with all your heart but knowing that love does not belong to the flower, and then move on when it has died, you will know unconditional loving.
Learn to love everyone like that.