Time after time we do silent treatment to our victims but they do not realize what our silence really means.
They are trapped by fear, paralyzed by indecision and this is naturally how we like it. This confusion and inability to really see what is going on serves our purpose.
What is our silent treatment really telling you?
It is telling you how we enjoy to play fast and loose with your feelings.
It is telling you that we do not care about you. You mean nothing to us other than the fuel you provide.
We are reminding you of how inferior you are to us. You are nothing more than an appliance which we can switch on and off, pick up and put down at our convenience.
We are trumpeting our lack of respect for you and your identity.
We are heralding our flagrant disregard for your well-being.
We are telegraphing our disdain for our supposed responsibilities.
We are reinforcing that you do not matter.
Related: The Silent Treatment Vs. No Contact: What’s The Difference?
Instead, you seek to eradicate the silence, you plan and arrange to do anything which you hope will dispel the absence of communication.
Too caught up in trying to remove the unpleasant sensations that wrap around you, you fail to see the clear message that we convey to you each time we behave in this manner.
We are behaving as we did when we were told we could not have another biscuit and we sat sulking until our worn-down parent gave in.
Most people grow out of such conduct but not us. We saw the power silent treatment would wield over certain people (others, of course, would never countenance it and we knew never to show it to them or suffer the consequences) but everyone else would flock around us, flapping and attending to us and we realized just how we could wrap people around our little fingers so they gave us what we wanted.
It was not the extra lollipop or permission to play out for an extra hour. It was attention and attention laced with emotion. Fuel. We may not have realized it then but we took this childish response and turned it into a weapon which causes you fear and frustration every time we unleash it. If only you could understand what we are really doing, then you would understand just how much we are truly telling you by saying absolutely nothing.
Have you ever experienced such silent treatment from your partner? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.