Second, during this intense, new love phase both partners tend to idealize each other, completely overlooking annoying habits and traits. Even if your partner did check out another woman in front of you, you might be so infatuated with him that you ignore it, or unconsciously block it out.
But after a year or two, or three at the most, the honeymoon period comes to an end. There is a gradual change in the way our brains respond to our partner, and it changes how we feel and act when we are together.
For him, his old hunter-gatherer instincts kick in as strong as ever, and he finds that his eyes are once again drawn to every attractive woman who crosses his path. And she can no longer remain blissfully ignorant. She notices his roving eye, and if she has ever been cheated on before, it’s bound to open up those old wounds and bring any insecurities front and center.
This was certainly the case for me and my relationship. For the first year or two, I was so smitten with my beloved that I scarcely noticed other women. It was the first time I had experienced this, and it was a beautiful thing. But when that initial, fiery passion began to cool, I started noticing other women again. Not because I lost interest in her, but because my brain chemistry was changing. We were entering a new phase of our relationship, and the dynamic changed for both of us.
Up to this point, a love affair is easy and effortless, as both partners are swept up and carried off by the raging storm of their mutual attraction. But in order for a relationship to survive past this point, it takes real honesty, commitment and clear communication on both sides.
How To Deal With It When A Guy Looks At Other Women
1) Don’t Assume.
When you do notice your man looking at another woman, don’t read too much into it. Remember what it means, and most importantly what it doesn’t. A glance does not equal a betrayal. Remember that he loves you, he cares about you, he is committed to you, and he is still attracted to you. Of all the women in his life, he chooses to be with you.
2) Set Realistic Expectations.
When we hold our partner to impossible standards, it leads to a never-ending cycle of disappointment, hurt feelings, anger, and frustration. No one wins. We have to get real about human nature and sexual desire. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, and you are not the only one that your guy finds attractive. Don’t expect him not to notice or look at other women 100% of the time.
3) Tell Him How You Feel.
When your partner’s roaming eye does hurt your feelings or make you feel inadequate, tell him so. Practice non-violent communication. Express your honest feelings without blaming, shaming, or accusing him.
4) Set Healthy Boundaries.
If your partner is committed to making your relationship work, he will be willing to work with you in setting some healthy boundaries. He shouldn’t look too often, too long, or too blatantly. He should make every effort not to make you uncomfortable (or other women, for that matter).
And most importantly, he should make it clear to you, in both his words and his actions, that he still wants you, and cares for you; he is still attracted to you and committed to your relationship.
We all need love and emotional connection in order to be happy and fulfilled; men are no exception.