Why Men Look At Other Women
For men, sexual attraction and emotional connection do not necessarily go hand in hand. We can be attracted to women on a strictly physical level. We can be turned on by women with whom we feel no emotional connection or compatibility. We can be head-over-heels in love, completely devoted to one woman, and still be attracted to other women.
In fact, science suggests that we can’t help it. A research study published in the 2013 Archives of Sexual Behavior revealed big differences in the way men and women are drawn to potential partners.
Women tend to be more attracted to men based on familiarity; preferring men who closely resemble their current partner, and rating men more attractive the more often they see them.
Men, however, are attracted to novelty. We are drawn toward the new and different, attracted too many different women, with many different features and body types.
This is usually interpreted as being the result of evolution. Generally speaking, women evolved to be wives and mothers, nurturers and caretakers, while we men are programmed to ensure the survival of our genes by “sowing our seeds” as far and wide as possible. You could say that our eyes are hardwired to wander.
Looking at women, not a personal choice we make to upset our partners, it’s a biological instinct. And the instinct to look at other women is usually acted on before the slower, conscious, decision-making process kicks in.
The natural sexual urges and impulses of men are also aggravated by media and advertising that is over-sexualized.
Everywhere we look, we are exposed to sexual images and innuendo designed to sell us everything from cars and cologne to beer and cheeseburgers. These usually feature heavily made-up, airbrushed, and photoshopped models that promote an impossible ideal of “beauty.” (Of course, this also encourages women to have all kinds of body-image issues and insecurities, but that’s another article…)
When It’s A Problem That He Looks At Other Women
While it is normal for men to notice other women, to look and admire, and even fantasize a bit, there is a line of respect that a mature and committed man will not cross.
Looking is one thing, staring is another; and it can be hurtful, embarrassing, and offensive. As I said before, I cannot help my momentary reaction when I see an attractive woman. But once the moment passes, I quickly turn my attention back to the love of my life, the woman to whom I am faithfully devoted.
Blatant staring, inappropriate comments, touching, flirting and (obviously) cheating are all red flags.
This kind of disrespectful behavior indicates that a man is either not mature enough to control himself, or he doesn’t respect you (or women in general) or care enough about you to reign in his impulses. Either way, it doesn’t bode well for the future of your union…
Why Didn’t I Notice He Looked Before?
Often the fact that a man notices other women usually doesn’t become an issue until after a couple has been together for a year or more, and the magical “honeymoon phase” has come to an end.
It is tempting to assume that because passion has started to fade, your partner is no longer into you, and he is looking around to explore other options. But that’s not necessarily true.
There are at least two reasons why this situation hasn’t reared it’s head before now, neither of which means that your partner has lost interest in you.
For one thing, during the early stages of a new romance, we are literally “high on love”. Our brains emit a powerful and intoxicating chemical cocktail whenever we see, or even think about, our partner. For many men, this natural buzz is often enough to drive all thought of other women from our minds, reducing or eliminating our wandering eyes.