And at times, I would push him away, in the guilt of not being able to reciprocate what he deserves. So many thoughts used to crowd in my mind, totally overbearing me with emotions.
It was like, hanging on the edge of a deep cliff, holding on to each other, not letting go. Once we let go, everything will fall apart.
I know, all these deeply scarred him, upset him, but I wonder what kept him sticking to me. He never lost a chance to remind me how much I mattered to him, how much he valued me, how much he loved me.
Even when being with me was like living a life on the roller coaster, he never complained about how miserable I was. But I certainly ended up doubting him, and his love, because actually all I was doing was doubting myself, my worth, my value.
If unconditional acceptance doesn’t look like this, then I don’t know how it does.
Every day with me was a struggle. That is how I felt. But I still cannot fathom how he made loving me, look so effortless.
All I learned, through years of being with the true love of my life is that, when you have someone who accepts you simply the way you are, has patience with you, never leaves you halfway, you will understand that mental illness is not a curse.
You will learn how significant being yourself is.
You don’t need to be your best version always, always don’t have to be happy, always don’t have to succeed, always don’t have to look your best, yet you still can rock the world.
Having a mental illness is just a way of being. It is not something to feel ashamed of.
So, being in love is different when you have depression.
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- 7 things your depression does not want you to know.