The process of getting through an existential depression could be likened to that of a psychic death and its rebirth. Again quoting Eckhart Tolle: ‘They awaken into something deeper… a deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer. It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity… Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.’
Despite having to go through a period of confusion and despair, the result of your existential depression is a renewed sense of independence and integrity. Once reached a higher level of functioning, you become an original thinker, with your own approach to solving problems and creativity. You are also much more able to manifest your gifts and talents through words, art, meaningful domestic endeavors, or social actions.
I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. – C. JoyBell C.
Cycles Of Renewal
In your life, there might not be just one, but several cycles of crisis and renewal. These are what you existential depression actually represent.
You are an ever-growing, truth-seeking person, so you will always be looking for the next best version of yourself. You test limit and stretch yourself all the time; even you are not aware of this is what you are doing, or that there is a healthy drive behind your inability to compromise.
Perhaps a period of chaos and confusion is a rite of passage for the natural non-conformist.
Suffering, aloneness, self-doubt, sadness, inner conflict are all symptoms of expanding consciousness.
Within you is unbounded developmental potential; it is something that you ought to bring out, or it will rot and swallow you from the inside.
Existential depression might be a recurring theme of your life. But this does not mean you are unhappy or always in turmoil.
Each time you come through a dark patch, you emerge from the chaos with a new order, new insight, and a new way of being.
Each time, you come out feeling more deeply alive, come closer to your ideal self, and to achieving your full potential.
Seeing the origin of your inner conflicts accurately will help you to reframe the meaning of your struggles. Rather than wishing you were someone else, you learn to reconcile with your unique life path.
In this process, you will realise the most profound pain comes not from being outside of the herd, but from disowning your true self.
I See Your Shedding Pain
Intense people are ever-growing creatures.
You reflect on almost everything- every situation, interactions, and encounter with all things.
You have an insatiable hunger for knowledge and insights.
You can quickly feel stuck and need for expansive intellectual, geographical, and emotional adventures.
You grow so fast others could hardly keep up.
Expanding so vast you lose the sense of where your roots lie.
You are continually outgrowing not only projects, ideas, subjects and vocations, but also people and places.
It is difficult to define who you are, as you are always evolving into the next version of your best self.