6. Be kind to yourself.
“Be aware, but without self-judgments,” cautions Beck. “Recognize what you’re doing without feeling like a bad person.”
Beck describes how women, in particular, are taught to take care of everyone else’s feelings before their own, but what they really need is to be gentle with themselves and pay attention to their own needs first. “Think of the flight attendant before takeoff,” Beck says. “They always advise you to put your own oxygen mask on first.”
7. Be okay with who you are.
Making peace with where you are in your life and love life, even if it’s not an ideal place, will help you to avoid trying to satisfy your soul with food. “Women especially have more of a tendency to look outside themselves to a man to feel fulfilled,” says Bentley. “Focusing on being your own person, instead of just part of a duo, is really the optimum way to attract the kind of man you really, deep down, want and deserve.”
Abend agrees: “Some people may be wishing their lives were different, thinking ‘I wish I had a boyfriend’ or ‘I wish my boss didn’t yell at me today.’ But emotion is not hungry. Actual loneliness is not hungry; it doesn’t need feeding. Don’t let your feelings chase you to the fridge!”