What Happens When You Stay Single For Too Long

single for too long

Being single and being in a relationship are different gears. For a guy who hasn’t shifted into the relationship gear for a while, it’s going to potentially be a rocky transition. Before he just lived his life for himself, and now he’s learning, again, what it’s like to share your life with another human being. That’s the struggle and the beauty of it.

Relationships are extremely difficult because we have to work our way through the world, knowing that someone cares so deeply about everything we do, that our pain becomes theirs, that our happiness is their happiness, and someone whose heart could be shattered if we betray them. That’s a lot of responsibility for someone, especially someone who hasn’t had to deal with that responsibility in quite some time.

This is why engaging in relationships is such a valuable experience, even if they end up failing. We learn about how to care about someone else, how to put the happiness and well-being of someone else ahead of ourselves, how to make decisions and compromise with a partner, and how our decisions have the ability to impact other people on extreme emotional levels.

Relationships teach us to become more emotionally responsible, better communicators, and better able to get along with other people. Most importantly, we learn and discover more about ourselves. The “relationship version” of yourself is going to be much different than your “single version”. This is because you live with more heightened emotions, you’re more vulnerable and sensitive because someone else makes up a big part of your happiness or your despair.

You can figure out if you’re a jealous person, what type of personality types suit yours on a romantic level, and what role you like to take in a relationship — is it more of a submissive position to your partner? Do you like to be the one to take control and make the decisions? Or do you operate best on an even playing field?

So for the guy who is treading relationship waters for the first time in a while, sure it might not be easy, you might fall on your face, you may feel uncomfortable, and you surely will make mistakes. But soon you will remember the beauty of being in a relationship, this person you care about will help you to think outside of yourself and to care about things that are greater than your own little tiny, first-world problems.

Related: 6 Struggles of Being In a Relationship After years of Being Single

And once again you’ll be reminded of the simplest of truths: your happiest moments are shared and you can’t experience true happiness unless you have the ability to care about someone else more than you care about yourself.

Bill Burr was right when you haven’t been in a relationship for a long time you’re willing to take more chances because you aren’t dependent on relationships for happiness. But what he seemed to leave out — while you may be willing to take risks to test your partner’s patience and “coolness”.

It’s all just to cover up the fact you’re scared and your instincts are telling you to run in the opposite direction as fast as possible because then you can’t be hurt by this person who now has partial dictatorship over your happiness. The greatest risk of all is…staying…and giving in to the fact you’re actually starting to care about someone: someone who now has the ability to destroy you.

Written by Jamie Rea
Originally appeared on JamienRea.com
What Happens When You Stay Single For Too Long
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What Happens When You Stay Single For Too Long
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Jamie Rea is a Canadian Dating, Relationship, and Life Coach, Award-Winning Screenwriter & Filmmaker, and Comedy Writer & Creator. He has written about relationships for various digital publications across Canada, the U.S., and the U.K., including Made Man, Mode Media, the talk, and Elite Daily. On top of his regular writing duties, Jamie coaches both men and women in professional coaching capacities, helping them to unlock their potential and find the great love they desire. He also Co-Founded the Legendary Love Academy with his partner, an online school for all the relationship education you need but didn't receive, and serves as Co-Host with his partner of their Podcast, The Power Couple Podcast. In addition, Jamie is also a Performer, Screenwriter, Filmmaker, and Comedian, and is regularly generating his own film and video content for the online space and the film industry. You can follow him and his work here: Coaching ServicesView Author posts