Anxiety is being painfully insecure and not being able to help it.
It’s standing in a crowded room, holding his hand, as you meet his friends but all you want is for them to like you. It’s trying too hard that they don’t sometimes.
It’s wanting to drink but worrying about drinking too much. It’s the apology the next morning you didn’t even need to say.
Anxiety is wanting to explain to him, ‘this is what you’re dealing with or this is what you’re getting and I understand if you want to leave.’ But at the same time, you just try and hide it.
It’s learning to trust him slowly.
Anxiety is explaining to your partner, ‘this is what I thought, it’s completely illogical, I know but I need you to just tell me I’m wrong. Tell me we are okay.’
It’s needing constant reassurance.
Anxiety is your partner wrapping their arms around you when you completely break down and they just have to keep telling you, ‘it’s fine.’ It’s someone else being strong when you can’t be.
But it’s also the fear of letting someone close enough to see that side of you because you’ve always been strong for yourself and you fear vulnerability.
It’s that critical voice inside your head that you hear on repeat. Even when they compliment you, you don’t believe it at first. And they don’t understand why you don’t see yourself the way they do. But there’s something beautiful about teaching someone to see themselves through your eyes.
Anxiety is the beauty and appreciation of someone really knowing you and accepting you because you still struggle to accept yourself.
It’s watching them change the way they act or what they do, just to keep you more at ease. It’s the comfort in a simple phrase, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t answer this is why…’ It’s a feeling of wholeness when they say, ‘I still love you, even with this thing WE have to live with.’
It takes a rare person to love someone with anxiety and it’s not always that easy. But if you can figure out how to, you’ll receive a love that is unconditional.
You’ll be with someone who truly appreciates and accepts you. You’ll hear thank you too often and I love you even more.
It’ll be a love that tests you and challenges you but it will make you realize some people are entirely worth it.
If you want to know more about anxiety and relationships, then check this video out below: